


Getting Your Tomorrow

by AmazingAbigail



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Abuse, Canon Compliant, F/M, Friendship, I really love Biggs for some reason, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, Killing, Secrets, Self-Harm, Violence, not specific or detailed but torture is implied, torture?, written while depressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:47:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 29,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24463015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingAbigail/pseuds/AmazingAbigail
Summary: Evie Ryder's life in the Sector 7 slums is about as good as she could hope for. By day, she works in her parents shop, selling armor to those who have the money to buy it. And by night, she's a part-time Avalanche member who may not like fighting, but wants to save the world.
Relationships: Biggs (Compilation of FFVII)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 26





	1. on the edge

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this story because I was depressed lately and needed some self-indulgent love/friendship in my life. It's almost completed, so I'm going to keep writing and posting until it's done. Please let me know if you like it or what you think.
> 
> Also, I gave Biggs the first name Gideon. I figured he'd need a first name, so he now has that one in my canon, I guess.

My life in the Sector 7 slums wasn’t as terrible as I know it could have been – that’s a fact I tried to remind myself when I was feeling sorry for myself.

(I try not to remember that it could have always been better).

My father owned a small armory in town, where he specialized in protective gear, along with the odd weapon if he was in the mood to make one. My mother hated the shop, so she was hardly ever there, leaving me to help dad as much as I could. I knew he was unhappy about this arrangement, but he needed help and he wasn’t about to pay someone to work the sales or do the odd delivery.

The shop today is busier than usual, and it’s because of the reactor blowing up last night. If I had known Jessie’s bomb would have been so powerful, I would have been better equipped for the crazy day it’s been already.

But the people are panicking; they’re terrified the reactor here will be next. Some of them look so scared I want to tell them it’ll be okay, but I can’t. If Barret found out I was talking…actually, I don’t want to think about it.

The shop being busy means dad’s in a worse mood than usual. I can hear him mumbling to himself in the back occasionally, but I try not to focus on it, and just on selling everything I can. We’re doing much more business than usual, so I’m not sure what he’s grumpy about, but I know better than to say something.

“Lockhart’s order is ready!” Dad shouts from the back.

Thankfully, I’m not checking out a customer, so I hurry to him. He’s closing up a box, still mumbling under his breath, probably about Tifa’s order, but I know he’s only mad because I have to leave.

Tifa is dad’s best customer, and she was always willing to pay extra if it meant I would be the one dropping their stuff off. It was a good chance for me to catch up on anything I was missing due to my parents.

I was old enough to leave home, but I had no money and nowhere to go.

Well, that’s not true. I know Gideon Biggs would take me in, but that wasn’t our plan. We had to leave the Sector, and until we had enough to do that I had to stay with my parents. He could hardly keep himself afloat, it would only be worse if I added myself to that equation.

But we’re close to leaving. I know that for sure.

“Just drop it off and get back here!” Dad tells me. “Don’t stop for any chitchat on your way!”

I nod and take off, speed walking my way through the dirt streets, kicking up dust as I go. I try to not get my hopes up, but I can’t help but hope Gideon’s going to be there. I try to tell myself that it’s not likely, given the night they all had last night, but it does no good.

I knock the handle down with the corner of my box and kick the door open. The bar is empty except for the little girl eating cereal on one of the stools.

She turns and smiles when she sees me. “Hi, Evie!”

“Good morning, Marlene,” I tell her, before pausing. Is it afternoon now? I shrug because it doesn’t matter and set my box on the bar beside her. “Is Tifa here?”

Marlene shakes her head. “She left with someone I don’t know.”

“What about your dad?”

She holds a finger up to her lips. “He’s downstairs talking to someone.”

I mimic her motion. It’s not fair that she’s so cute! “Okay, gotcha,” I say with a wink. “Will you tell one of them I was here?”

She nods. I move around the bar and tuck the box behind it so it’s not so visible from the doors. I say goodbye to Marlene and leave. I try to not feel disappointed, but I didn’t see anyone! It’s enough to make a girl feel lonely.

I head back for the shop, saying hello to a couple people I pass. I hear a lot of them talking about the reactor blowing up, but quite a few of them are talking about a new merc who got rid of the Doomrats around town.

Honestly, better him than me.

I enter the shop, and see dad finishing up a transaction. Both he and the woman he’s helping look frustrated, but I know it’s for the best to stay quiet.

The woman leaves, nodding at me once before heading out the door.

“Took long enough to get back,” dad says. I tried to get through town quickly, but I guess talking to Marlene put me more behind than I thought. “Where’s the money for Lockhart’s order?”

I freeze at his words. I didn’t get any, and I’ve never left goods without getting paid before. I feel my heart start to pound in my chest, and it almost hurts.

“You did get it, didn’t you?” he asks, his voice low, but steady. I don’t like this voice. I hear it too often these days, but it’s even worse now because I know it’s my fault.

“No, I-”

Dad grabs my arm, and the words I was forcing out die in my throat. He squeezes my arm, and I try to jerk out of his grip. I know that only makes him angrier, but the pain makes me move without thinking, and he just holds me tighter.

He starts for the door. “Tell your mother to come down here and help me.” He opens the door and shoves me outside. I miss the step and sprawl onto the dirt just outside the door. “Get out of my sight.”

I stay down until he closes the door behind him, because I know he hates when I don’t. He considers it fighting back, even if I’m just standing up, so I grit my teeth and wait until he’s gone.

I sit up when the door closes behind him. I push my hair out of my face and take a breath. I hear footsteps behind me, and my cheeks start to burn.

“Are you alright?” a voice asks from above me.

I turn and look up at the man behind me as he holds a hand down to me. I grab it and he pulls me to my feet quickly. “Thanks,” I tell him.

When I get a proper look at him, I realize I don’t know him – he’s not from around here, at least. His blond hair is coming seriously close to covering his eyes, but even that doesn’t stop me from noticing the faint glow behind his eyes.

He’s a SOLDIER. I’ve only seen a couple of them in my lifetime, but I know he’s one. And come to think about it, he might be the one that got rid of the Doomrats.

“Don’t mention it,” he says before turning and leaving without another word. I watch as the other people on the street dodge out of his way as he moves past them. Some of them point at the large sword strapped across his back. Honestly, I think it would be better to not point that out.

I shake my head, and hurry home, dusting myself off the best I can along the way.

“Edgar?” Mom calls from somewhere down the hall when I open the door.

“It’s me, mom,” I call back. The door doesn’t hang straight in the frame, and I have to lift it just a bit to get it to close correctly.

I go further into the house, and see mom at the kitchen table. The kitchen is tiny – there was barely enough room for the small table in the center. The bathroom door was just behind her. Technically this house was supposed to have only one bedroom, but dad put up some wood so I could have my own, equally tiny, room.

When mom sees me, she sighs and sets down the fabric she’s holding. “What did you do now, Evie?” she asks. Even though this happens more often than I’d like, it still stings that she immediately calls me out for things like this.

Then again, this time it was my fault, I guess.

“Dad sent me home. He needs you at the shop.”

Mom sets her sewing down with a huff. “Really? What happened this time?” she asks, but she doesn’t wait for an answer before she stands. “You’ll have to finish this for me. Make sure it’s done before we close up.”

She leaves without another word, and I slump into her abandoned chair. I take up the sock she was working on and start to mend it.


	2. diving in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still just sad girl self-indulgence

I look at the pile of folded laundry and finally let myself stand up. I don’t know why mom stresses about this stuff so much. That was easy, and didn’t even take that long.

In fact…

I glance out the window, and then stand quickly. I know I have time, and I want to go back to the bar. Surely someone is there now, I’ll take talking to anyone as long as they're not my parents.

I close the door behind me as a knot of guilt hits my stomach. Maybe I’m not being fair, but I shake those thoughts and I make my way through the backstreets for the bar.

The open sign is off when I get there, but I’m sure it was off earlier when I stopped by, so I try the handle and the door opens easily.

All five of them are there, and Jessie shouts when she sees me. “Ryder! Come have a drink!” she calls. I look over and see Gideon looking over his shoulder at me. I have to fight the smile that threatens to break out when I see him. Even though I knew he was okay, it’s still nice to see him up and moving around.

He’s not as successful as I am at hiding his smile, so he quickly takes a drink of his beer.

Barret looks over his shoulder, and nods when he sees me. Tifa waves, and I make my way over to the table with my three favorite people.

I stand between Jessie and Gideon. “What are you doing here?” he asks, and I see him leaning towards me without a thought.

“Do you want a drink?” Wedge asks from across the table.

I shake my head, but I take a side step closer to Jessie and take a chip from her plate. “I can’t stay long. My mom thinks I’m home mending clothes.”

Jessie laughs. “Since when can you sew?”

Without warning, Gideon stands up. “Come here,” he tells me, grabbing my arm. He pulls me over to the corner. My heart is pounding at this movement – this is bold for us.

“What happened?” he whispers, leaning down closer to me.

“What are you talking about?” I ask, looking up at him. What I wouldn’t give to be alone with him.

“You’re covered in dirt.”

I freeze for a moment, before twisting myself enough to look at my back. Crap, he’s right. I try to brush it away, but it doesn’t budge. I sigh. “Dad threw me out of the shop. No one was here when I did my delivery, so I didn’t have his payment when I got back.”

His jaw sets, and it pains me to know he’s picked up my teeth gritting habit after all this time. “If you would just let me tell Barret –”

“It was my fault,” I tell him quickly, trying to ward off his thoughts before they consume him. “It’s okay.”

He shakes his head, and if I wasn’t so close to him, I wouldn’t be able to see it. “I’ll go to the shop and straighten this out.”

“You can’t fight him!”

He laughs, and that breaks the weird hold he has over me. He steps back, still laughing. “I’m just going to pay him.”

I shake my head and leave him to laugh alone in the corner.

“What was that about?” Jessie asks, looking between us with her eyebrows raised.

I grab another chip. “Biggs’ just being an idiot,” I tell her as he rejoins us.

“Oh, so nothing new?” she jokes. Wedge snorts into his plate.

Gideon looks around at us with a forced sad look. “With friends like these, who needs enemies?” he asks before finishing his beer in a quick gulp.

“Friends?” Jessie asks, turning to me. “Whose friends with him?” she jokes, jabbing her thumb in his direction.

“Guys!” Wedge groans. “Can’t we just celebrate without picking on each other?”

I take one last chip, and then push off from the table. “I should actually get going. I have to get back before my parents. I just wanted to stop and say hi.”

Jessie groans. “You just got here!” she whines, dropping her head towards the table. She would have been a great actress if she wouldn’t have joined Avalanche.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. “I know, but seeing you made everything better!” I tell her. I feel her laughing into my arms.

“Ryder!” Tifa calls. I hear her chair scrap the floor as she pushes back from her table without having to turn. I’m relieved to know she’s finally remembered to call me by my last name. There’s something about my first name that doesn’t sound like it belongs in this group.

Tifa joins us at the table, and I pull back from Jessie. “We’re going to need you tomorrow,” she tells me. “You’re going with Biggs early on the first train.”

“It’s a good thing I stopped by, then.”

She nods. “I know it’s short notice. Barret agreed to up your pay to make up for it.”

I can’t help but perk up at this information. “Really?” I ask. Tifa nods again. I lean away from the table and call over my shoulder. “Thank you, Barret!”

“Don’t say I never did nothing for you!” is all I get back, but it’s enough.

I turn back, and look past Tifa to Gideon. “I’ll stop by early. Dawn?”

He nods. “That should be good. I’ll have your stuff.”

I take a deep breath. “Okay, I should head home. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I push away from the table and force myself to leave, and I hear their goodbyes even after the door closes behind me.

I feel better. I didn’t know I was feeling bad, but this is good. I get to actually help out tomorrow. The relief of being away from the shop is enough to get me home, and the relief of being home before mom and dad is overwhelming.

I put away the laundry away first thing. I try to tidy up the house so they don’t think I was just lounging around all day. When it starts to get dark, I put some leftover stew on the stove for dinner.

It’s hot when they finally get home, and even though she doesn’t say anything, I know mom is grateful I’ve reheated dinner for her. No one says anything while I dish out our helping – two helpings for dad, one for mom, half for me – and I can only imagine that mom’s time at the shop was almost as rough as mine.

The silence continues while we eat, and it’s only after I start to clear the dishes that dad says, “One of those boys from the Neighborhood Watch stopped by the shop.”

I stop on my trip to the sink. I want to ask which one, because there are enough to keep me guessing, but I know he wouldn’t like that. “Did they?” I ask, trying my best to sound dumb and not nosy. “To get things due to the reactor?”

“He told me there was some confusion about Lockhart’s order. Something about a payment miscommunication.” I almost laugh; my father would never use those words on his own, but I bite my lip to keep quiet. “Said you came back to ask about it, but he decided to just come down and straighten it out himself.”

“Oh,” I force out. This is starting to feel like an apology.

“Next time, tell me what’s going on before you leave,” he adds. I guess I shouldn’t count my chocobos before they hatch.

“I will,” I assure him. He nods, and then wipes his mouth with his handkerchief.

I place the bowls in the sink, and then turn back. Dad’s still sitting in his chair, and that makes it easier to ask, “Could I run by Seventh Heaven and see Tifa? I just want to ask if she knows when she’ll need me again.”

Mom turns to dad, who doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe what he said wasn’t his version of an apology at all.

“Don’t be gone long,” he finally says.

I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding, and immediately head for the hallway. “I won’t be,” I promise. “And I’ll do the dishes when I get home before bed!”

Neither of them says anything, so I head out before dad can change his mind.


	3. evening talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long one, but I couldn't figure out where to best break it up, so it's just long

Gideon’s house isn’t too far from mine, but I make a show about heading towards the bar, just in case someone would say something to dad about seeing me. No one ever has, or if they did, I don’t know about it.

I do a lap around the bar when I reach it, and then turn back. The lights are off when I reach Gideon’s house. I take a moment to pause, and then I knock even though I’m sure he’s not there.

There’s no answer, and I decide to give him a few minutes before I head back home. I know I’m going to see him tomorrow, and I could thank him tomorrow, but it’s nice to be out of the house.

I sit down on one of the crates outside his door. Not a lot of people are out, given that it’s late, and the people I see don’t seem to pay me any mind.

“Ryder?” I hear, and I look up to see Wedge, and the blond SOLDIER from earlier.

I stand. “Hey,” I say, unable to stop my smile. Honestly, and I would take this information to my grave, but Wedge might be my favorite person of all time. There was just something about him that made it hard to be anything but happy and excited.

Also, he has cats. And I love cats.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, unable to stop myself from glancing over at the man behind Wedge, with his arms folded and a bored look on his face.

“I wanted to check on Biggs and Jessie – make sure they got home okay.”

“Got home from where?”

Wedge shrugs. “We had to go up on the plate.”

“What?” I demand, but he quickly waves his hands to stop my words in their tracks.

When I don’t say anything else, he points over his shoulder. “We had Cloud with us, so we’re all good!”

I look over at the man, and he looks up at me. His name sounds familiar to me, and it takes me a long moment to place it. “You…you know Tifa, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Wedge turns back to me. “Cloud kicked major ass tonight and yesterday! A true SOLDIER!”

“Ex-SOLDIER,” Cloud interrupts easily, like he’s said the same thing a million times. I don’t know how to take him. “And should you really be talking about that?”

Wedge steps forward and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Ryder’s cool. She’s going with us tomorrow. She has a knack for sneaking.”

I roll my eyes, and gently punch his shoulder. “And yet you went topside without me. I can’t believe it!”

Cloud scoffs, and uncrosses his arms, but he still looks bored. “Would you have been allowed to go?”

I pause, and it feels like my blood has turned to ice. Why would he say that? Who said something to this stranger? “How does this man know my whole life?” I ask, jabbing my thumb over at Cloud.

Wedge takes his hand off my shoulder and shrugs, but he’s smiling. “ _Someone_ couldn’t keep their mouth shut about you tonight.”

I grit my teeth, and curse Gideon for telling Wedge anything and everything about us.

(Thankfully, he’s the only one who knows anything. If the others knew, Jessie would never let us live it down).

“We should get going. You know how picky Reggie is about his bedtime.”

I nod. His cats have particular tastes, and Wedge indulges all of them. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Night.”

They leave, without Cloud saying anything, but that seems to be how he is. I’ll just treat him the way I treat Barret, and I’m sure I won’t have any problems.

I sit back down on the crate, and it’s not long until a familiar someone comes around the corner, and jumps when he sees me.

“Evie?” Gideon asks, obviously surprised to see me. “What are you doing here? Is everything alright?”

I stand quickly, and close the large gap between us. I can already tell his anxiety is high tonight, so I have to do what I can to calm him so tomorrow isn’t completely miserable for the both of us.

“Everything’s okay,” I tell him, and I see his shoulders relax. “I just wanted to thank you.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, which is odd, because he must know what I’m talking about. What else could I be thanking him for that’s happened in the short few hours since I last saw him?

But then he rubs the back of his neck, and a smirk crosses his face and I feel my shoulders begin to tense. “You could come inside?” he suggests. “Stay the night?”

“I wish I could,” I tell him, suddenly desperately wishing I could. “But my parents are expecting me back, and you know I could never explain it.”

He closes his eyes and sighs. “Soon,” he says, more to himself than to me.

“Soon,” I answer, regardless.

He opens his eyes, and is flashing me a smile that I’ve only seen once or twice, and I feel my skin burning. “That night your parents spent at Wall Market was the best night of my life,” he says, his voice low, and I hate him for bringing that up, because now I won’t be able to forget out it for weeks.

I feel my blush rising even though it’s just the two of us. “Mine too,” I remind him.

We watch each other for a moment, and I have to do something to break this hold over us, or we’ll stare at each other until dawn. So, I reach forward and punch him, a bit harder than I did Wedge. “I mean it. Thank you for taking care of that payment.”

“Your dad told you?”

“He mentioned it. He’s still upset it happened, but as long as he’s paid, I don’t care.”

Gideon scoffs, kicking the ground with the tow of his boot. “With the amount I gave him, he shouldn’t be mad.”

I lean forward, trying to make his words make sense. “What does that mean?” He doesn’t answer, and he doesn’t look up at me. I put my hands on my hips. “Gideon?”

He shrugs, but still won’t meet my eye. “I might have given him a bit more than necessary.”

“How much more?” I ask, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“500,” he rushes to speak. I just blink at him, but he holds his hand up as if I tried to interrupt him. “Someone stopped by the Watch and told me they saw him _actually_ throw you out. I had to do something!”

“I tripped on the step. It wasn’t that bad,” I tell him, for what feels like the millionth time.

“It’s bad enough,” he counters. “But it won’t be like this for long. We’ll have enough gil soon, I promise.”

I can’t help the laugh that bursts out of me without warning. “Not if you keep spending it.”

He hits my shoulder with an open hand, more pushing me than actually hitting. “Point taken, alright?”

There’s a pause, but I’m not ready to head home yet. “Wedge stopped by looking for you. Said you went up to the plate?”

His eyebrows furrow, and I regret what I’ve said. That must be part of the reason he looks so anxious. “We would have been back sooner, but our parachute blew off course.”

I grab his arm so he’ll look at me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I remind him.

“Jessie needed something for tomorrow, and everything that happened tonight seems like a bad omen or something.”

I shake my head. “Nothing bad is going to happen. You know we’re a great team,” I remind him.

Gideon doesn’t respond, but I don’t really expect him too. Instead, he grabs the broom leaning against the side of his house and starts to sweep the dirt path in front of his house. “Maybe we should go check on Jessie – see if there’s anything we can do to help.”

I shake my head again, even though he can’t see it. “You know we can’t help her. We don’t know nearly as much as she does. It’s best if we let her work in peace.” I sit back down on what is now my crate for the night, and watch him sweep.

A now familiar blond comes around the corner for the second time tonight, and I swear I’ve never seen so many people stop by this house than I have tonight.

Gideon turns at the movement “Hey, Cloud!” he says. I’m not sure why I’m surprised by this interaction. They must have met yesterday. I’m going to blame how late it is, and how tired I feel. “Oh, this is Ryder,” Gideon adds.

I wave my hand. “We’re old friends,” I joke, smiling over at Cloud.

Gideon looks between us, an eyebrow raised high. “You two know each other?”

“We just met,” Cloud says. Apparently, he doesn’t know a joke when he hears one.

“You also helped me up earlier, when I fell,” I remind him.

Recognition crosses his face, and Cloud turns to me fully for the first time since that moment. “Oh right. Outside the armory.”

“Terrible friend,” I say, rolling my head over to look at Gideon, who smiles just enough that I know he appreciates my jokes.

“We’re not f-”

Thankfully, Gideon interrupts before Cloud can hurt my feelings. “How’s Wedge?”

“He’s fine,” Cloud tells him. I should hope so, he looked fine when I saw him. What the hell were they doing up on the plate?

“That’s good to hear.” Gideon goes back to sweeping, even though it’s not going to do any good – it never does. I don’t know anyone besides him who thinks you can sweep dirt clean. But I don’t try to stop him, not yet, at least.

“Can’t you stop him?” Cloud asks, gesturing at Gideon over my shoulder, who I can hear is now mumbling to himself.

I shrug. “Sometimes it’s better to let him git it all out,” I tell him. “How do you know Tifa?”

My question throws him off, and for a moment I’m worried he’s not going to answer. “We grew up together,” he eventually tells me.

I smile. “Then it must be nice to see her again.”

“I guess.” He pauses, and Gideon’s still mumbling. “You?”

I’m honestly surprised he’s asking me anything. He still looks bored, but I can take this as a win. “I’ve lived here my whole life, so I saw her around when she arrived. When I kind of joined Avalanche, I got to know her a lot better.”

“Kind of?”

I don’t feel like talking about my parents with him, so I try not to mention them. “Every so often, Tifa tells me she needs help at the bar, usually cleaning or fixing things. They pay me well for my time, and my parents never question it because the pays good.”

“Been a part of it long?”

I shake my head. “Not really. A year, maybe a little more. I,” I pause, but the rest comes without permission. “I may not agree with the idea of killing people to prove a point, but the other stuff, I agree with.”

Cloud nods, but doesn’t say anything else, and I’m grateful. I don’t like talking about myself like this, and it’s been a long time since someone asked me so many personal questions.

In the silence that follows, we can hear Gideon still talking to himself, only louder now. Cloud sighs loudly, before turning. “Biggs!” he shouts.

Gideon turns, broom stopped hovering just above the ground. “Huh?”

“Get some rest. You need it.”

Gideon nods, and fakes a salute. “Roger.”

“Night,” Cloud says to both of us before leaving for the second time tonight.

I watch until Cloud’s out of sight, and then I still don’t say anything. I just wait to see what Gideon will do.

He stands there, just holding his broom for a moment, before he starts sweeping again. I sigh, and stand up, grabbing the handle and forcing him to stop.

“Evie-” he starts, but doesn’t finish. Up close, I see his eyes have dark circles under them, and he has to get to bed before he collapses.

I pull the broom from his hands, which is easy considering he doesn’t put up any kind of fight. “Go to bed,” I tell him. “I’m going to need you at a hundred percent tomorrow.”

He grits his teeth. I set the broom down in its spot before going back to him, where he hasn’t moved. “I mean it. Inside. Bed!”

For the first time in what seems like a long time, he smiles. “Living with you is going to be hell if you’re always this bossy.”

I punch his shoulder again, just as hard as before. “I’m not bossy. I’m just trying to help.”

He sighs, and rubs the back of his neck. “I know,” he admits, before nodding. “Okay. But I need a shower first.”

“Sure.” I agree. “I have to get home, but not until you’re inside that house!” I tell him, pointing over his shoulder at the door.

He smiles again, and I can’t help but find him so beautiful. “Goodnight, Evie.”

“Night, Gideon.”

He heads inside, and I leave, hurrying home so I can get to sleep sooner.

When I get home, dad is still awake, sitting at the kitchen table, papers strewn around him. I’m curious as to what they are, but I know better than to ask. “Gone a bit long, weren’t you?” he asks when I enter the room.

I swallow hard, and it’s like a switch has been flipped, erasing all the happy feelings I was experiencing before coming back. I hate it. “Tifa needs me tomorrow morning. She’s paying extra because of the short notice.”

Dad sighs, obviously frustrated, but I know he’s not going to say no to the money. “Fine, just don’t wake us when you leave. And don’t forget about the dishes.”

I nod and hurry to the sink, making quick work of the three bowls, three spoons, and one pot.

I leave them on the counter to dry and head for my room. While I’m undressing for bed, I can’t help but picture myself back at Gideon’s, getting into his somewhat cramped bed, forced to spend the night pressed against him.

I shake my head to stop those thoughts in their tracks. If I start thinking about that, I won’t be able to fall asleep.


	4. early mornings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter, mostly just fluff to make myself feel better about life

My alarm wakes me up early, just as the sun is beginning to rise. I quickly turn it off, and lay back down. I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear snores coming through the handmade wall separating my bedroom from my parents. So far, so good.

I get up and get dressed in the dark. My gear, which is usually kept in the basement of the bar, will be at Gideon’s house, so it doesn’t really matter what I throw on now.

I take a detour to the kitchen and take a hunk of bread for breakfast. Mom will be upset when she sees it missing, but when I get paid tonight, she’ll be okay.

I leave just as quietly, making sure to lock the door behind me. I eat the bread as I take the quickest route to Gideon’s house.

Hardly anyone is out at this hour, and it’s nice. The heat is beginning to settle, and I know by the end of the day I’m going to be a hot, sweaty mess.

I knock when I arrive, and a second later, he opens the door and I hurry inside without a glance around at who could see me.

“Good morning,” I say, taking a good look at him. The dark circles under his eyes are almost gone, and I’m relieved to see he got a good night’s rest. Taking in the room, though, I’m surprised he managed any sleep at all. I should have known he’d stay up cleaning, and given the way the few surfaces shine, he must have been up most of the night.

Without saying a word, he pulls me towards him. His lips find mine with ease, and even though we have to be leaving soon, I let myself enjoy this.

His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me towards him. My eyes flutter shut. His lips move against mine in quick motions, and I feel myself grow warm in his arms.

I lift my hands and run my fingers through his damp hair. I press myself impossibly close to him, trying to block the thought of him in the shower from my mind.

He moans when I pull myself closer, and I force myself to pull away. “We can’t,” I whisper. I force my eyes open and see he’s already watching me.

“I know,” he says just as soft. But then he bends down and begins to place kisses along the side of my neck, causing me to shiver with each one. I push myself onto my toes so his lips hit harder, and I feel him smirk into my skin. He nips the skin near my collarbone and I bite back my moan, instead pulling at his hair.

His hands open along my back, but he’s still holding me against him. I would give anything to forget the mission and stay here with him forever, and even though both my mind and body are screaming at me for it, I pull away for the second time, and have to fight my way out of his arms.

“Don’t go,” he all but whines. He grabs my hand, and doesn’t let go until I’ve stepped far enough away.

“I’m not doing it because I want to,” I tell him. He has to know how much I want to stay in his arms. “But I have to change so we can go.”

He lets out a heavy sigh, and nods. “Your bag is in the bathroom.”

I smile. “Just let me change, and I’ll be ready.”

He looks over at me, his eyes dark. “Can I watch?”

I head for the bathroom, and I hear his footsteps behind me. “We’re going to be late!” I remind him, turning to face him.

He leans against the doorway, and I don’t like the playful smile in his lips. “Do you think Barret would mind?”

I push lightly on his chest, causing him to take a step back. “Out!” I tell him before closing the door on him.

I take a moment to collect myself, and while I’m taking deep breaths to calm my racing heart, I see that the bathroom is also spotless – well, as spotless as possible here in the slums.

I grab my bag and shake out everything inside. I undress quickly. Black shorts, green shirt, black vest with built in armor, my boots. I buckle my belt tight, and then tie my hair out of my face with my bandana.

I step out of the bathroom. Gideon has on his weapon holsters, and I see mine on the counter behind him. The leather is worn, but it still does its job, and without the money to get a new one, it’ll have to do for now.

I grab my second belt and snap it into place. I see my dagger is in its usual place, and my grappling gun just beside it. I pull my gun out. I unload the cartridge. He must have loaded it for me, because I remember it being empty after my last mission.

I snap the cartridge back into place, return my gun to its proper place and turn around. “Ready?”

Gideon finishes lacing up his boot and then stands. “We should go over the plan again.”

I shake my head. “We’ll have to do it on the train. We need to get to the station.”

He glances over at his clock and sighs. “Okay, come on.”

We leave his house and quickly make our way to the station, taking the backstreets because there are more people spilling out onto the streets. It’s going to be a busy day in Sector 7.

I’m grateful for the bandana tied around my head, because it’s only getting hotter, and we’re only halfway to the station when I start to feel sweat gathering at my temples. I’m going to be worse than a hot, sweaty mess by the end of the day.

We have no trouble walking passed the guards and onto the train. It’s more crowded than I expected it to be this early, but I guess all these people have to get to work somehow.

I tap the pocket on my chest, and feel the outline of my new ID inside it. I should have checked on it sooner, but it’s there, and that’s what matters.

Gideon grabs my arm and we sit down in a pair of empty seats near the back of the car.

He leans towards me, his lips close to my ear. “When we get to the station, we have to take the backstreets to the facility. We just have to secure a route for the others to take to mako storage.” I nod. “After everything that happened yesterday, I expect the guards to be on high alert. I don’t want to use any fire power unless we absolutely have to. The less attention we draw, the better.”

“Okay, got it,” I tell him. I turn, and try to smile, but it doesn’t feel like it works. “Easy.”

Gideon sighs. I know he thinks I don’t take this as seriously as he does, but I’m just glad he can’t see my hands shaking. I press them between my knees and try to focus on breathing normally.

_“The train will be passing through an ID checkpoint shortly.”_

I take a deep breath as the scanners travel through the compartment. Nothing happens the first time, but that doesn’t stop my heart from pounding. Silence follows the second, and the third, time it sweeps through us. I feel woozy with relief. These IDs are better than last time.

We’re about halfway to our stop, when the overhead system clicks on again. “ _This is an announcement from the Shinra Electric Power Company. The terrorist group Avalanche has issued another bomb threat.”_ Gideon turns to me, his eyes narrow. This was not something we anticipated. “ _In response, we have raised the threat level and entered a state of heightened alert. All lines are currently experiencing delays. We anticipate that our arrival in Sector 4 will be later than scheduled.”_

I groan, and lean back in my seat. “Stupid idiots,” I grumble into my chest.

“That’ll complicate things,” Gideon agrees.

I adjust myself in my seat, trying to get comfortable for the long ride we have ahead of us.


	5. unlocking secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> real talk, working through this whole section was weird, and I did the best I could. Writing fighting scenes is new to me, and I know it's not great, but I tried. Hopefully, when I get to fighting scenes later, it'll be a bit better

By the time we get to the station, it’s almost midday, and that means the others are practically right behind us.

The platform is packed with people when we step onto it. Someone bumps into me as they hurry onto the train. I force myself to breathe. I keep my eyes on Gideon’s back as I follow him through the crowd and into the street. He’s taking his sweet time, and I know it’s so we don’t look suspicious, I just want to hurry. Being out in the open like this isn’t good for us. I mean, we’re practically wearing matching outfits! Why have we not thought about that before?

At the end of the street, he throws his arm out to stop me. A cart goes past us, and we dodge into the alley. “So far, so good,” I tell him. I can see the building in the distance. There’s a surprising lack of security, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.

There’s no one at the security checkpoint just outside the building. I glance beside me at Gideon. He shrugs. “Smoke break?” he guesses.

“When have we ever been so lucky?” I take the lead and we make our way around the building. We manage to enter the building without the alarms going off, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Things are going a little too well, and that’s why when we have to cram into a single stall bathroom, I’m not at all surprised. I cover my mouth with my hand. I know Gideon can hear my heart pounding in the silence that surrounds us.

As the footsteps get louder, I lower my other hand to rest on my gun, and run my mantra through my head: _arm, arm, leg, leg_. It won’t kill my target, but they won’t be able to fight back. I really don’t want to kill, but if I have to, I will.

“-believe what happened?” I hear from behind the door. I turn to look at Gideon. His gun is in his hand. He sees me looking, and nods once.

“Trains will be backed up all night. And I have a date!”

“Fucking terrorists. Think it was Avalanche?”

“Who else would –” the voices fade with their footsteps. We don’t move for a moment, listening for footsteps or breathing or any noise to indicate the guards haven’t actually left, and when we don’t hear anything, Gideon reaches around me and opens the door quickly, pointing his gun down the hallway.

“Clear!” he says.

I take a deep breath as I step into the hallway. “Come on, we have to hurry.”

“At least we know why no one’s here.”

“Doesn’t make me feel much better, to be honest.”

Gideon knows where he’s going. He has a scrap of paper with a sloppy map drawn on it. Someone from Headquarters got Jessie the reactors layout, no questions asked. I don’t know how she does it, but Jessie always pulls through.

We finally make it to where we need to be. Honestly, I don’t know why we’re even here, considering we haven’t done anything helpful. Though we couldn’t have accounted for people jumping off trains, the others could have just come through on their own. Jessie will be pissed to hear how easy we had it when she gets here.

The room is small. The ventilation shaft we need is on the wall right in front of us. Gideon climbs through it, and is gone only a few minutes before he comes back. “This is what we want.”

There’s not much in the room that could be useful, mostly just hardware that’s rusting bad enough to mean it’s been here, unused, for a long time.

The only thing worth looking at is a hatch on the floor. Gideon opens it, and the laughter that bursts out of his mouth makes me jump. “What?” I demand, hurrying over to him.

I glance down on the hole in the floor, and see pipes. “We could have just gone through here?” I demand a bit louder than I should. I shake my head and walk away from him. He’s still laughing.

“At least getting back will be easy,” he assures me. He moves over towards the right side of the doorway and leans against the wall. I take the left, and sit down.

We can’t be waiting much longer than an hour before we hear footsteps on the walkway just outside the door. It has to be them, but my heart starts to race with the knowledge that it might not be them. I stand quickly and pull my gun from its holster in one steady motion.

I see the glint of metal, and I raise my gun and aim.

“Mercy!” Gideon calls.

The figure lowers his sword and I finally realize who I’m looking at, and judging by the confusion on Gideon’s face, he comes to the same conclusion I do as about the same time.

“Wait…Cloud?”

Without answering, Cloud looks over his shoulder at me. “Mind putting that away?” he asks, his eyes darting from me to the gun still in my hand. “I thought you didn’t like to fight?”

I lift my finger and wiggle it for him to see. “Finger’s not on the trigger,” I tell him. I lower my gun and holster it as Tifa and Barret enter the room behind Cloud. Gideon turns to me, raising his hand vaguely at our guests, and I shrug.

“Where’s Jessie and Wedge?” he asks.

Barret ignores him. “Report.”

Gideon turns to them. “Topside’s going nuts after some terrorists jumped off a train.” He shrugs. “Nice and quiet here, though.”

I step up beside him. “We literally had zero problems getting here,” I tell them. “No monsters, and only one close call with some guards heading out. Besides that, you’re the first people we’ve seen since the train.”

“So, we had no trouble finding your route to the reactor.” Gideon points to the ventilation grate on the wall.

The others look over at it, and then Barret turns back to us. “You magnificent sons of bitches, bring it in!” He lunges at us, and only Gideon has the quick thought to dodge away from him, so I’m alone to take Barret’s hug. He could use this in a fight – there’s no doubt in my mind he could crush and break me if he wanted.

“So, where are the others?” Gideon asks again, his voice sounding muffled around Barret’s arms. I push his chest with a groan, and he releases me.

“Jessie got hurt and couldn’t make it,” Tifa tells us.

“Is she okay? Is it bad?” I ask. It must have happened earlier today; she seemed just fine yesterday.

“Not so bad she couldn’t rope in this guy,” Barret tells us, nodding towards Cloud, who has just been standing in the same spot since he put his sword away.

“Thanks for stepping up.”

“It’s a job,” Cloud reminds him.

I shake my head, and just decide to ignore his remake. “Everything actually worked out, you guys being on the train you were on.”

Gideon nods. “While Shinra scours Sector 4, you can waltz right into Sector 5. It’s a bit of a squeeze, but it ought to get you where you need to go,” he tells them, pointing to the opening over his shoulder.

“Little dark and foreboding for my taste…” Barret trails off, and I can’t help the way my eyebrows try to jump off my face. Barret? Worried?

“Beggars can’t be choosers.”

I grab the grappling guns we brought with us, still sitting on one of the boxes behind us. “You’ll be needing these,” I say, handing them to Tifa. “You good?”

“Should be everything,” she says.

Gideon opens the grate and turns to me. “After you, Ryder.”

I release my gun, but turn to the others behind us. “Good luck,” I tell them, before jumping into the shaft below us. The fall isn’t too far, and maybe the gun wasn’t even necessary. When my feet hit the ground, I pull back and my gun retracts. I sidestep out of the way, and a few moments later, Gideon lands beside me.

We look at each other just before one of them closes the grate above us. “Could’ve been worse.”

“Let’s not push our luck,” he says in response. “Let’s go.” Without another word, we slowly make our way out of the building.


	6. back again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was one of my favorite chapters to write so far

It’s skill that gets us out of the building and to the station with no problems. It’s sheer luck that gets us on the last train out of Sector 5 due to the riots in the streets. We don’t have time to stop and find out what’s going on, but as we make our way down the streets, we hear cries of “the reactor!”, “Avalanche!”, “bombing!”, and “evacuation advisory!” We keep our heads down, get on the train, and are back home before we know it.

We don’t take a second to pause until we step inside Seventh Heaven. When the door is closed and locked behind us, Gideon turns to me. “We did it!” He lifts his hand, and I high five him quickly, and I can’t stop myself from bouncing on my toes.

“I’m so relieved!” I tell him, unable to express the true extent of my relief.

There’s a rumbling behind us, and when I turn, I see the pinball machine rising from the basement, and Jessie, Wedge, and Marlene are along for the ride.

I kneel down and embrace Marlene when she runs for me. “Hey there, munchkin.”

“You’re back!” Wedge says at the same time, hurrying forward and clapping Gideon on the back. “How’d it go?”

“Yeah, you two love birds have fun?” Jessie says, and for a minute my heart stops.

Marlene is wiggling in my arms, but even that can’t force me to move. One of the boys makes a noise with his throat, but for that minute, that’s the only sound there is. And then Jessie laughs, and winks. “Psych!”

I release the breath I was holding. “It went well.”

“Surprisingly smooth,” Gideon adds, his voice sounding as strained as I imagine I did.

I look Jessie over, and the only thing I can see wrong is a bit of gauze near her knee. “Are you alright? Tifa told us you got hurt.”

“Please!” Jessie exclaims, waving her hands like it’ll make my words disappear. “I tripped! Barret was making a big stink over nothing.”

“You couldn’t walk,” Wedge reminds her. “What were they supposed to do? Carry you?”

“SOLDIER boy could have, if he wanted.” Jessie winks with her statement.

I don’t like the look that’s suddenly come over her face. “Alright!” I say loudly, scooping Marlene up and sitting her on my hip. I hear Jessie snickering behind her hand. “Did you have dinner yet?” I ask Marlene.

She shakes her head, making a soft “Uh-uh,” sound as she does.

“Dinner sounds great!” Wedge interrupts.

I roll my eyes at Marlene, exaggerating my motions so she giggles. “Okay. I’ll get something together. How about spaghetti?”

“Yeah!”

I move over to the bar and sit her down before I head into the kitchen. “Jessie!” I call over my shoulder.

I hear her groan. “I’m injured!” she shouts as the door swings shut.

“That’s not what you said a few minutes ago!” I shout back. I don’t hear footsteps, and I don’t push her to come help me.

I make quick work of dinner, thankful for the bar’s kitchen being better than the one at home, or else we wouldn’t be eating for another twenty minutes.

When everything is ready, I make plates for everyone, load them onto a serving tray, and kick the door open. All four of them are sitting on barstools, talking and laughing, beers next to each one, with a glass of juice beside Marlene.

I take a moment to take them all in. If Tifa and Barret, even Cloud, were here, it would be perfect.

It hits me hard then, and it’s a thought I’ve tried to keep away since I met Gideon, but it comes to the front of my thoughts easily. _I don’t want to go home._ If I do, I might just –

“Ryder?”

I hear Gideon’s voice, and I try to hold onto it, to pull me out of this dark place I’ve suddenly gone to, but I can’t. The guilt settles in my stomach like a rock and I feel sick. There’s a reason I’ve tried to keep these thoughts away. My parents aren’t bad people. I know bad people; I’ve _fought_ bad people. Why would I –

“Evie?” It’s Marlene’s voice that breaks me out of my thoughts.

I blink quickly, and then turn back to the bar. All four of them are watching me. I take a deep breath and force myself to smile. “Marlene, sit down,” I tell her after I realize she’s standing on her stool. Lord help me is Barret saw her do that on my watch.

She plops down and I set her plate in front of her. I serve the others, who are watching me in a close way that I hate.

“This looks great!” Wedge tells me before digging in.

“Just like mom used to make,” Jessie adds, twirling strands around her fork.

And then it’s just Gideon watching me.

I move around the bar, trying to avoid his eyes. I go to Marlene, who is sitting between Wedge and Jessie, and lift her up so she’s on my lap. “Good?”

She nods as she eats. I pull my plate close to me and force myself to take a bite. I don’t know if Gideon’s still watching me, but if he is, I might say something I’ll regret.

“I’d kill to know what’s going on,” Jessie says.

The others agree. “We’ll know soon enough. The others should be back soon. They’ll catch us up.”

“Will daddy be home tonight?” Marlene asks, twisting herself so she can look up at me.

“I think he will be,” I tell her, with a smile. I hope so, at least. “And if he’s late, we’ll make sure he isn’t late again, okay?”

She laughs, and then picks up her fork again. “Can I stay up until he comes home?”

“Just this once.” This isn’t the first time I’ve broken her bedtime, and I’m sure it’s not going to be the last. Besides, I know it’s highly probable that she’ll fall asleep waiting for him.

After my first mouthful, I realize how hungry I am, and I wolf down the rest of my plate with ease. I want to take a second helping, but the others will need something when they get back.

Gideon takes both mine and Marlene’s plates. “Wedge, help me with the dishes,” he calls.

Wedge sighs, but stands without complaining. I nudge Marlene. “How about you give those boys a hand?” Barret will be pleased I got her to do some chores, even if it’s something small.

“Okay.” She jumps off my lap and hurries after Wedge, who is standing at the door, holding it open for her. I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me.

I stand, stretching my legs. I know I only have so long until she comes back and wants to resume her spot.

“Everything okay here while we were gone?” I ask Jessie as I move around the bar to grab a glass of water.

“Literally nothing happened!” she says, overdramatic as always. “I could have just stayed home.”

“I feel the exact same way!” I tell her. She laughs. “Biggs could have gone on his own. He’d have been fine.”

“Hand me a glass?” she asks. I fill it was water and hand it over. “I would have gone if I could have been with Cloud,” she says.

I groan. “Come off it!” I beg, leaning over the bar towards her. “Does he even know how to smile?”

“It’s part of his mystic!” she assures me with a wink. Sometimes I wish she had never learned how to wink at all. “Come on, don’t you think he’s cute?”

I bite my cheek. To be honest, I hadn’t really noticed, but I could see it. “He’s not bad on the eyes,” I confess. It’s weird, and I’m not entirely sure if I want Gideon to hear me or not.

“Aha! So, I have competition.”

I shake my head quickly. “That’s a fight I’m dropping out of immediately.”

“Come on, Ryder,” she says, leaning forward and giving my arm a punch that hurts more than she surely meant it to. “You definitely have a chance.”

“Chance with what?” Wedge asks as the three of them return from the kitchen. I wish I could have made more of a mess. I lied; I don’t want Gideon hearing this.

“With Cloud!”

I groan loudly, and allow my head to drop to the bar top with a heavy _thud_.

“Ryder thinks she has a chance with a SOLDIER?” Gideon jokes from somewhere to my left. I don’t have the nerve to look up.

Also, I can feel myself blushing and I don’t want them to see it.

“Shut up, Biggs,” I beg, but my voice comes out muffled.

The others laugh, and I let them without a fight. I just want this conversation to end. In fact, I didn’t want it to start in the first place. Stupid Jessie.

“Oh, I stopped by Biggs’ to get your stuff,” she says after a long moment. I hear her put something on the bar beside my head. I glance over at it and see my bag, only now instead of being filled with my secret Avalanche clothes, it has my regular ones in it.

I take this as a good chance to get a bit of privacy. I grab the bag and head for the bathroom. I change back into the clothes I slipped on early this morning. I stare at myself in dirty mirror hanging above the sink. How can I be two different people? How can I keep doing this? How much longer will I have to do it?

I shake my head and leave the room, cramming my work clothes in the bag. I know Gideon will wash them for me, so I’m not even worried.

I take my weapons belt and put it behind the bar, out of Marlene’s reach.

“Evie!” Marlene calls from one of the tables. She has papers and crayons spread around it, and I know what she wants. She never wants it from anyone else, besides Barret.

I move to where she’s kneeling on a chair. I lift her up and sit her down. She reaches for a crayon just out of reach. I move it closer to her, and settle in for a long night of sitting in this chair.


	7. soon

I watch her draw until she becomes too sleepy, and she eventually falls asleep in the crook of my elbow. Thankfully, the others aren’t being too loud, so I know she’ll sleep well until the others get back.

After a while of just sitting, looking at the pictures she’s made, Gideon slides into the seat next to me. “She’s out, huh?” he asks, his voice low, just in case.

I nod. “We’ll wake her when Barret gets back, but until then, I figured she can sleep here. My arm went numb a while ago anyway.”

He laughs. He glances over his shoulder. Jessie and Wedge are still at the dart board. I guess there’s a reason Wedge is so good at it. They’ve been at it for a long time now. “So, Cloud, huh?” he jokes.

I roll my eyes. “He’s not exactly my type,” I remind him.

There’s a pause, and then he gestures towards Marlene. “Sometimes I forget you’re good with kids.”

For a moment, I’m blindsided by the change of topic, and I almost want to laugh, but I’m afraid of waking her. “I’m good with her because it’s easy; she’s an angel.”

There’s a strange look in Gideon’s eyes, and for a reason I can’t explain, it causes me to feel warm all over. I take a chance, and whisper, “Soon?”

“Soon,” he replies immediately. He doesn’t say anything else, but he doesn’t need to.

I don’t know how much time passes, but eventually Wedge and Jessie stop playing darts. Jessie tries her hand at mixing drinks, but after tasting her take on a Sidecar that somehow just tastes like lemonade, I know she needs a bit more work.

The others fall asleep in chairs around the bar. I can’t move because of Marlene, but the others could have gone down to the basement.

I’m dozing in my seat when I hear footsteps on the steps outside, and then the door opens. Barret and Tifa step inside; something’s wrong, and it takes me a moment to figure out what exactly it is.

Cloud’s not with them.

I look down at the girl asleep in my arms. I shake her shoulder gently. “Marlene?” She opens her eyes and blinks up at me. “Your daddy’s back.”

She yawns, and then turns her head and sees Barret. “Daddy! You’re home!”

He chuckles, and when Marlene stumbles out of my grip, he lifts her onto his shoulder with ease. “Have you been a good girl?”

She nods. “I helped clean up dinner,” she tells him.

Their voices fade out as I watch Tifa make her way to the bar. I stand on shaking legs, and follow her. She pours herself a drink, and I wait until she downs it before I speak.

“Where’s Cloud?”

Tifa pours herself another drink. Her shoulders look like their shaking, but when she turns around, her cheeks and eyes are dry. “I don’t know.”

“What?” Jessie demands behind me. That girl really doesn’t know how to be gentle with someone. It looks like Tifa’s about to breakdown.

I hear the pinball machine activate, and I know Barret’s taking Marlene to bed without even turning.

“There was an explosion,” Tifa starts, her words coming out strange, as if she has to force each one out on its own. “We were separated. He…he told us to leave him behind.”

There’s silence as Tifa finishes her drink and pours a third.

“Cloud’s a SOLDIER,” Gideon says, stepping up beside me at the bar. “He had his equipment. I’m sure he’ll come strolling back here in no time!”

Tifa doesn’t respond. I wish Barret would come back. Maybe he could help fill in some of the holes.

“He’ll be wanting his pay, for sure!” Jessie adds. Wedge laughs, but cuts himself cut when Gideon throws him a dark look.

“I know he’ll be okay,” I tell Tifa, leaning across the bar and holding my hand out to her. “After all the time you two have spent apart, you deserve to see each other again.”

She tries to smile, the corner of her lips curling up, and I take it as a win. “Thank you, Ryder.” She sets her glass down. “Let me get Barret so he can pay you. And then you should get home and get some rest.”

“I need it,” I agree. I know I’ll be back at the shop early tomorrow morning, and every bone in my body feels heavier than usual. I should have tried to get some sleep while we were waiting up for them.

Barret rejoins us before Tifa can move. Maybe he heard what she said, but he hands me a small pouch that’s surprisingly heavy. “Good work today,” he says, his voice gruff, and I’m not sure if it’s from exhaustion or what happened with Cloud.

“Thanks,” I tell him. “Tell Marlene I said goodnight.” I say my goodbyes to everyone and leave. I hurry down the steps. I open the pouch and quickly count what’s inside.

I almost drop it all when I realize it’s a thousand gil. I choke back a gasp, because I don’t want them to know I’m still here. I close the pouch back up tightly and after a glance back at the doors, I hurry home.

There’s a light on in the kitchen, and I go straight there when I get inside. Dad is at the table, papers spread out around him, and I’m hit with a sense of déjà vu.

“I didn’t think you were coming home tonight,” dad says without looking up.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him quickly. “Tifa had a list of things a mile long, and –”

“Did you get paid?” he interrupts.

I bite my cheek and hand over the pouch Barret just gave me. This gil would have helped Gideon and I more than it’ll help my parents, but I know better than to say anything.

Dad dumps the contents onto the table, counting it quietly before sweeping it back into the pouch. “It’s not much,” he grumbles. I take a deep breath and try to hold back the intense urge I have to cry. How could I have gone from happy and content to miserable so quickly?

“Do you need me to do anything before I head to bed?” I ask.

He doesn’t answer, and I take my cue to step back and head for bed. I wash off quickly in the tub, thankful for the cold water and to be washing away the whole day.

When I’m in bed, the urge to cry comes back, and hits just as hard as in the kitchen. I bury my face in my pillow and allow myself to cry myself to sleep, just this once.


	8. warnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if what happens in this chapter needs a warning, but the guys in this chapter definitely had something nefarious up their sleeves when dealing with Evie. It's not described, but if that's something you need to avoid to protect yourself, please read with caution, or consider skipping this chapter entirely.

After my night of self-pity, I force myself to put it aside. I know this isn’t like me, and I don’t want it to become who I am. So, I get up, I go to the shop, and I go home. For two days it’s an easy routine that I fall into.

We’re surprisingly busy, what with everything on the news about Avalanche and Wutai breaking the treaty. People are panicking even worse than when the first reactor blew up. I don’t have a chance to leave and see the others, and if I did, I don’t know if I would take it. There’s too much happening now, we tried to do too much too quickly. We just need to keep our heads down and try to figure out what comes next.

It doesn’t help that the news is showing security footage from both reactors. We’re all there, and every time it flashes on our crummy little TV at the shop, I feel my heart pounding in my chest, waiting for someone there, or even dad, to notice one of them is me. It’s so obvious who it is, that if anyone looked close enough, we would all be done for.

But I just try to keep calm and sell armor. Dad’s miserable in the back, and I’m just trying to get gil in the register so he doesn’t become worse.

I think I’m doing an okay job until two men come into the shop just before we’re going to close. I sigh quietly to myself. I was hoping to get home early tonight, but I’ll do anything for a last-minute sale.

“Evening, boys!” I call from my stool behind the register. I stand and make my way over to them. “Need help with anything?”

“Just looking,” the one closest to me says. His black hair is cut short, and slicked down in a center part.

“Let me know if you need help with anything. That’s what I’m here for.” I look over at the other man. He has tattoos around his neck and up to the top of his bald head. I’ve never seen either of them around here before. We’ve had strangers here before, Cloud for example, but something about these two makes the hair on my neck stand up on end.

I’ve never been more grateful to have dad in the backroom than I am right now.

The one with black hair takes a look at our small display of wrist guards. I go back to the counter and grab the receipts for the day. Might as well get organized while these two look around.

I hear footsteps behind me, and turn to see the man with tattoos right behind me. “Been busy lately?” he asks.

I want to take a step back, but the counter is already pressing against my back. I force myself to breathe, and nod. “After everything that’s happened recently, I’ve barely had time to sit down,” I say, trying to be nice. “I was actually about to close up, so –”

“We heard from a little birdie that those terrorists on the news are from around here,” he says, leaning in close to me. “You kind of look like one of them,” he whispers. I can feel his breath on my face and it makes me cringe.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” I say, trying desperately to keep my voice steady.

The other one comes forward as well, trapping me against my counter. “A pretty girl like you must know the people around here.” He pauses, and I feel like gagging when I see the way he looks me up and down. There are a lot of pigs in 7, but there’s something especially gross about these two. “There’ll be something for you if you help us.”

I swallow hard. I swear I can hear my own heartbeat. I try to keep my hands from shaking, but even curling them into fists does nothing. “I can’t tell you what I don’t know.”

The one with the tattoos lets out a low chuckle. “We know how to make people talk,” he says, taking another step closer and pressing himself against me.

I take a deep breath, and pray someone hears me. I scream, the sound echoing around the room. The one with black hair takes a step back, but the other one, the one pressed against me, reaches forward with speed I wouldn’t have guessed he had, and covers my mouth with his hand. I try to bite down, but I realize too late he’s wearing a leather glove.

The backdoor swings open, and now both men jump back when they see dad in the doorway, looking beyond angry.

“What the fuck is going on in here?” he demands. He comes forward, and I scrambled away, putting the counter between me and the two men.

“We were just talking,” the tattooed man says, but I can see he wasn’t expecting me to have someone else here.

I turn and look at dad. He looks at me for just a second before stepping forward, and holding up the blade he must have had this whole time. “Get out,” he tells them, his voice low in the way I hate, but this time I love, not only because it’s not directed at me, but because the two men look worried.

Dad takes another step forward, and the men leave without a fight. I don’t know what would have happened if they tried to take dad. I would have had to jump in, and I wouldn’t be able to explain where I learned to throw a punch.

“What the hell did they want?” Dad demands, coming towards me.

I try to stop myself from shaking, but I can feel my entire body quaking. “I think they were going to rob us?” I force out; it’s the only thing that sounds even a little bit plausible.

“Those sons of bitches!” dad shouts. He moves across the room towards the door. I bury my heads in my hands, and I feel a familiar pressure behind my eyes. I don’t want to cry, I shouldn’t cry, but I don’t try to stop myself.

The door opens, and I don’t bother to look up until I hear a familiar voice from the doorway. “Is everyone okay?”

I look up. Dad hasn’t even made it to the door, but Tifa and Gideon are standing there. There are others behind them, locals who must have heard me and are now snooping around, trying to see what’s going on.

“Get out of here!” dad yells, moving around Gideon. “Don’t you people have anything better to do?” he demands at the crowd, who start to disperse quickly.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, looking between them. Tifa looks ready to fight, and Gideon has his gun in his hand.

“Did you scream?” Gideon demands, stepping further into the store.

“Put that away!” Dad shouts at him. “The robbers are already gone.”

Gideon’s eyes go wide and he looks back to me. His eyebrows furrow in anger as he turns on his heels and runs out of the store. I don’t know what he thinks he’s going to do. Those guys have to be long gone by now, and he doesn’t even know what they look like.

“Are you okay?” Tifa asks, coming forward.

Dad mumbles something under his breath and closes the door behind her.

“I think so,” I tell her, but I don’t know if that’s true. I can feel myself still shaking, and I think I might start crying again if pressed.

“I’ll walk you home,” she says, before turning to dad. “That okay, Edgar?”

It’s weird hearing her call him by his first name, and judging by the annoyed look he throws at her, he doesn’t like it. “Fine,” he says without a fight.

Tifa comes up beside me and takes a hold of my arm. After the closeness of that creep, it’s a relief to have her here. “Come on,” she says gently before leading the way out of the shop. She turns us towards home. I don’t make it a few steps before I have to confess, “We weren’t almost robbed.”

Her head jerks towards me. “What do you mean?”

“The…the guys that came in wanted information about the bombings. They said they recognized me from what they’re showing on the news.”

Tifa stops, and tugs me to a stop along with her. “What did they look like?”

I shrug. Does it look like I was trying to memorize everything about them? “One had tattoos; one had black hair. I don’t know anything else. I was too busy trying to look innocent!”

She lets out a sigh. “It sounds like the same guys who came to the bar yesterday.”

“What?” I demand. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

She cocks her head to the side. “Why do you think Biggs and I were going if not to the shop?”

She brings up a good point; I didn’t even consider that. “Who are they?” I ask. “Shinra? They’re not Turks.”

Tifa shakes her head. “They aren’t Shinra or Turks. They were sent by Don Corneo.”

“I…isn’t that the man that runs Wall Market?” I haven’t heard his name often, even though I hear about Wall Market a lot.

Tifa nods. “I’m so sorry they came after you.”

I narrow my eyes. I hear that tone of her voice and I know she’s about to say something I don’t like. “What are you planning?”

“I’m going to Wall Market to find out why he sent his men here.”

“You can’t!” I grip her arm tightly. The few things I know about Corneo all point to him being a massive creep. I don’t want her to go. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

She smiles. “He’s the one going to get hurt!” she assures me, making a fist with her free hand.

Before I can respond, Gideon comes up from behind us. Just having the two of them here makes me feel safer. “I couldn’t find them,” he tells Tifa.

“I’m not surprised. They’re probably back at Wall Market by now.”

Gideon turns, and steps close to me. “Are you okay, Ryder?”

What I wouldn’t give for Tifa to not be here. “I’m alright,” I tell him. “I just wasn’t expecting to get cornered and questioned like that.”

“We’ll add the shop to our new Watch patrol,” Gideon tells me. “Until we figure out what’s going on, we want to keep everyone safe.”

I force myself to let out a laugh. “Just have Jessie stand guard. No one will come in with her around.”

They both laugh. Tifa’s hand wraps tightly around mine. “Let’s get you home.”

“Sounds good.” I turn to Gideon. “Night, Biggs.”

He nods. “Night,” he says before leaving. I _wish_ Tifa wasn’t here.

“Come on,” Tifa tugs me to follow her, and I let her lead me through the streets until we reach my house. “Get some sleep.”

“Promise me you won’t do anything crazy,” I beg.

She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “I won’t,” she says, but I know she’s lying.

I sigh. “Just, be careful.”

She nods, and leaves without another word. I watch her until she’s out of sight, and then I head inside. I’ll get a few minutes of peace before dad comes home.


	9. beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter originally was much longer, but I divided it up into two separate chapters. This is the beginning of the story following the Remake more closely, so I'm sorry if that's something you're not into!

Tifa’s gone the next day. I have a couple deliveries to make, and I hear people talking about it while I’m out. Everyone seems to say the same thing: that she got dressed up and took a carriage out of 7. I hate the thought of her going into Wall Market alone, but I remind myself many times throughout the day that she can handle herself.

Actually, I’d love to see the aftermath of anyone that tried to take her on.

By the time night comes, I’ve pictured her kicking the ass of every person in Wall Market, including Don Corneo himself. I don’t know what he looks like exactly, but it’s still glorious.

I just hope Tifa is safe while getting the information she’s after.

After we eat, I start to gather our dishes. Dad is taking to mom about expanding; I’m not sure what specifically, because I won’t interrupt to ask.

There’s a knock at the front door – pounding really, and it causes me to jump, the silverware I had stacked neatly on the dishes in my hands fall and clutter to the table.

“Who could that be?” mom demands, looking over at me as if I know.

I set the dishes down, quickly gathering up the lost silverware and wiping my hands on my dress. “I’m not sure,” I say, even though it should be obvious. “I’ll go check.”

The pounding starts up again before I can reach the door. I hear dad shout something after me, but I don’t respond. I pull the door open, and I barely have time to focus on who’s in front of me before Gideon tosses me my bag. His face is set, and I don’t like the anxious anger on it. “We have to go.”

There’s something powerful in his voice that makes me move without a word. I can hear shouting behind him, somewhere down the street. And even further in the distance, the sound I pray I’m not actually hearing: gunshots.

I pull open my bag and grab my clothes out. I step back, and he comes forward, closing the door behind him.

I tug my dress off in one quick motion and throw my shirt on. “What’s happening?” I ask, pulling up my shorts and buckling my belt tightly.

“Shinra’s attacking the pillar.”

I stop and look up at him, gripping my vest tightly in my hands. “What?” I ask, my voice louder than I would have liked. That doesn’t make any sense. “Why would they do that?”

“Evie!” I hear mom call from the kitchen, sounding annoyed that I’m taking so long. My heart begins to pound. I don’t know what I’m going to tell them. “What are you up to? Who’s there?”

I don’t respond, because I don’t know how. Gideon tosses me my boots and I slide them on and quickly tie up the laces. I pull my bandana from the bag and tie my hair up and out of my face. “What do they want with the pillar?”

“They’re going to drop the plate.” The very thought sends a cold chill down my spine. They can’t do that! He hands over my weapons holster and it takes my brain an extra second to get moving again. “We need to go!”

I buckle it on tightly above my other belt, taking a few seconds longer than usual because my hands are shaking. Why would Shinra want to kill all these people? It doesn’t make any sense!

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” dad demands from behind me.

I turn around quickly. Both he and mom are in the hall behind us. I can’t do this. It was easier when I could just leave. What am I supposed to tell them?

“What is he doing here? What are you wearing?” mom asks, taking a step forward.

“Evie, we have to go!” Gideon says, his hand coming up and resting on my elbow, and that knocks me out of the hold my parents suddenly had over me.

I take a deep breath. “I’ve never fought or disobeyed you. Not once. You need to let me go.”

“Absolutely not,” mom tells me as if it’s the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard.

I shake my head. I don’t know what else to do. I have to go. I check to make sure my dagger and grappling gun are in their usual spots, which they are. I pull my gun out of its holster and pop out the cartridge. I hear mom gasp behind me as I slide it back into place.

“I’m ready,” I tell Gideon. He opens the door, and the shouting is louder, and those were definitely gunshots I heard before.

I feel a rough hand on my shoulder that pulls me back. “If you leave this house, you can’t come back!” Dad shouts, his fingers digging into my skin in a way that feels almost familiar.

We watch each other for a moment, and then I step back, knocking his hand away with a hard hit that leaves him speechless. “If you ever loved me at all, you’ll listen to me. Please, get out of Sector 7 while you still can.”

Gideon grabs my hand and I leave the house, for the first time not following my father’s orders. It doesn’t feel good or bad. I feel empty, and it’s probably because I’m trying to focus on the next step.

We have to defend the pillar.

I can hear dad yelling as we run down the road. It’s almost a straight path to where we need to go, but Gideon pulls me to a stop just around the corner. I want to ask him what’s wrong, I want to remind him we don’t have time to stop, but then he bends down and kisses me. It’s quick, and despite everything happening around us and inside my head, my stomach flips when I allow myself to lean into him.

“I love you,” he whispers when he pulls away.

I don’t bother to fight the smile that spreads quickly across my face. “I love you too,” I tell him.


	10. dangerous

The pillar is a mess. People everywhere – people I’ve seen my whole life, taking up arms and trying in vain to defend our home. The noise is overwhelming, and for a moment, I just stand there, staring up at the disaster before me, trying to calm my breathing. I can’t help anyone if I pass out here.

There are military personnel fighting back. I don’t know why they’re here. Surely, they can’t all be here to help bring it down.

How can they even do that?

There’s a specific shout above us that forces me out of my trance. About halfway up, and climbing, I see Barret and Jessie. There’s a helicopter flying too close to them. We have to move.

I grab my grappling gun. “I’m going up. You good on the stairs?”

Gideon pulls his gun out and nods. “Be careful up there, okay?”

I nod. “I’ll see you soon.”

He smiles, and it looks so out of place here. “Soon,” he agrees.

I take a breath and release my grappling gun. It hauls me up as high as the wire can go. I release it and keep moving. The spotlight from the helicopter blinds me, I dive to the side, getting behind cover just before I hear bullets hitting the metal in front of me. I duck around and raise my gun, firing off as many shots as I can before I have to pull back.

“Attention, Avalanche!” The words sound a shiver down my spine and causes my hands to shake. _They’re here because of us?_ There’s an explosion above me, and the helicopter leaves. I take a moment to catch my breath. “You are surrounded! Stand down and surrender to Public Security immediately! Shinra does not negotiate with terrorists! Resist and we will use lethal force! I repeat: Shinra does not negotiate with terrorists! Resist and we will use lethal force!”

When I can breathe again, I lean over the edge and fire my grappling gun up. I get lucky, and I land with Jessie. “Nice of you to join us!” she says over her shoulder.

“Got here as fast as I could!” I call back.

Guards appear at the top of the stairs, and Barret appears behind me. “Eat lead, asshole!” he shouts.

My mantra won’t work here. I can’t settle for just an arm or a leg. I have to hit them where they hurt.

I have to kill them.

I line up my sights and fire, hitting the first guard square in the mouth. He falls quickly while Jessie and Barret take out the others.

“How many are there?” I call over to them, trying desperately to keep my mind off the man I’ve killed. He was just doing his job. We shouldn’t be fighting each other.

“Too damn many!” Jessie tells me as she darts by, heading up the stairs.

I drop my empty clip and reload quickly before following her. She stops me. “Jessie-”

She pulls out one of her grenades. “This should stop them,” she says before pulling the pin and tossing it towards the guards on the level above us.

We crouch down and brace ourselves for the explosion that shakes us. We’re showered with rubble before we can look up. Only one guard is left, and Jessie makes quick work of putting him down.

“Come on,” I say quickly, grabbing her arm and forcing us to climb to the next landing. My legs are burning from use and it every time it feels like I can’t take another step, I force myself to take two more. I can’t stop. We can’t give up.

The helicopter comes around and blinds us. Jessie grabs another grenade. I start firing on the copter, trying in vain to do some damage, but I can’t even be sure my bullets are hitting it.

Jessie throws it without pause.

It’s weird, how slow and quick the same moment can seem. I see the grenade leaving her hand. I see it in the air. I see the helicopter firing bullets. And I see one hit the grenade, causing it to explode prematurely.

I see it all happen as if it’s in slow motion, but it takes only a few seconds.

The heat from the explosion takes my breath away. It causes the safety railings to fall away. I’m in the air before I can form a thought. I’m falling fast and the wind is stinging my eyes. I have to do something before I hit the ground.

I grab for my grappling gun and fire it off without aiming. It catches on something, but I can’t hold onto the handle as I’m jerked to a stop. I try to hold on, but I can feel something in my shoulder _pop_ and the pain that radiates down my arm forces me to let go.

I hit the ground hard. The air disappears from my lungs and I struggle to breathe. I try to sit up, but my shoulder throbs, and I see white.

I bring my hand up and bite down on it as hard as I can. I taste blood, but my vision fades back. I have to get up. I have to get back to Jessie. They need me.

I can’t be useless. Not tonight.

“Ryder?”

The sound of my name cuts through me. I try to sit up, but I’m not strong enough. I’m just going to lie here until this is all over.

“Ryder!”

I turn my head. “Tifa!” I shout, the relief I feel seeing her making me dizzy. She kneels beside me, her hand resting on my uninjured arm. “You’re safe!”

A familiar blond falls to his knees on my other side. “Cloud?” I breathe, my heart beating painfully in my chest. “You’re alive?”

“For now.” There’s something inappropriately snarky about the way he says it, as if we’re back at the bar and not in the middle of a fight.

I stare at him for a moment. He catches my eye and turns to me. “What?”

“Are…are you wearing eyeliner?” I ask before I can think it through. That question doesn’t make sense. Why would he?

“Nope,” he says easily before turning away from me.

“Can you get up?” a different voice asks. She’s now beside Cloud. I’ve never seen her before, but when I look up at her, she smiles. It’s small, but it gives me something to focus on for a moment besides the pain continuing to radiate down my arm and chest. “Heya. I’m Aerith,” she adds, as if we have time for this.

“It’s my shoulder,” I say, more to Cloud than the others. He’ll be able to fix it for me. “I need you to pop it back.”

He takes a second to look it over, hand coming close to touching me, but never actually making contact. Then he nods. “Aerith, help me.”

The new girl puts her hands under my good shoulder and she helps me sit up. I grip Tifa’s hand in my own, and I can’t bring myself to feel sorry when I see her wince. I grit my teeth when Cloud takes a hold of my arm. He’s barely moved it at all, and I’m already seeing stars.

“On three,” he tells me. I close my eyes and squeeze harder. “One –” he jerks my arm. A cry forces it’s way out before I can stop it. I feel it slide back into place. It still hurts, and I’m worried that if I move it the wrong way it’ll be as painful as before, but for now it’s much better.

Aerith lets me go. I roll my shoulder a couple times, and it’s not something I should continue to do, but I can do it. “Thank you.” I force myself to stand. My gun is on the ground and I hurry forward to it.

“Ryder!” I hear behind me. “You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine,” I tell Tifa. “Cloud fixed me. I have to get back be–”

There’s another explosion. I whirl around to the pillar. There’s a fireball eruption near the top, and I swear I can feel the heat from here.

And then I hear the scream. It’s a scream I recognize almost instantly, and I feel frozen where I stand.

Wedge is thrown from the pillar. I feel myself screaming for him, but I can’t hear it over the roar in my ears. He tries to do the same thing I did – but he loses his grip on his grappling gun and falls. The impact makes me wince, and I run to where he’s landed.

Cloud beats me to him, but not by much. “You okay?” he asks quickly, checking Wedge over.

“Cloud, it’s Shinra! They’re trying to take out the pillar!”

“I know.”

I kneel in front of him as he tries to get up. “You have to stay still,” I tell him, trying to smile. How did it come so easily to Aerith? “You fell a long way.”

“I have to go back,” he argues, still trying to get up. If we left him on his own, I don’t think he’d make it back up. I don’t want him to get hurt. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. “Barret and the others are still –”

“Stop!” Cloud tells him.

“Are they okay?” I demand, suddenly needing to know. Wedge looks up at me, but doesn’t speak. If he doesn’t tell me, I’ll lose it. “Wedge, is he okay?!”

He swallows hard. “Biggs, he – they were shooting at me and he –”

I stand, not wanting him to finish. I grab my gun and cock it back. The movement causes a sharp sting of pain, but I ignore it. I have to go up.

“Stop!” Cloud shouts at me. It’s the loudest I’ve heard his voice, and it makes me pause. But I can’t stop. I have to keep going. I have to find Gideon. “Stay with Wedge,” Cloud says to me, before turning to Tifa and Aerith behind us. “I’m going up.”

“I’m going with you!” I tell him quickly. He doesn’t have to understand. He can’t stop me.

Tifa hurries forward and puts her hand on my gun, lowering it to my side. “Ryder, you’re hurt. Let Cloud handle it.”

I want to tell her. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her why I have to go back; why I have to find Gideon, but there’s a third explosion above us.

They need our help, and I’m just wasting time.

I nod and holster my weapon. I hurry forward to help Aerith keep hold of Wedge. When I look back, Cloud is gone. I grit my teeth and hope he finds them.

I hope he can help them.

“I’m sorry,” Wedge says. He’s watching me, and I don’t like the intensity in his eyes.

I shake my head. “As long as you’re okay, whatever happens…” I trail off. I don’t know how to finish my thought.

The sound of gunfire keeps my silence from sounding fake. “Get down!” Tifa yells.

Aerith throws herself on top of Wedge, dragging me down with them. I land funny on my arm and tears spring up, threatening to fall, but I blink them back.

There’s a harsh sound of metal on metal, and then large support beams fall around us.

I open my eyes in time to see Tifa land. Aerith turns to her and speaks before I have a chance. “Thank you.”

“That was a close one,” Wedge agrees, again struggling to stand. I force myself up and grab onto his arm, steadying him on his feet.

“Easy,” I tell him gently. It pains me to see him like this. I see Tifa look up towards the pillar, and I know what’s going to happen. “Tifa?” I question, trying to get her back to us.

“I’m sorry,” she starts, and I already know I was right. “I can’t stay here – I have to help them.”

“Go,” Aerith tells her. “Follow your heart.”

Tifa nods, and starts forward, only to pause and turn back to me. “Go to Seventh Heaven,” she tells me. “Get Marlene and get somewhere safe.”

I step forward, pulling her towards me and wrapping my arms around her tightly. “We will. Be careful.”

We pull apart and I step back with the others. Wedge flashes her a thumbs up. “Get up there and kick Shinra’s ass!”

Tifa nods, and then turns runs towards the pillar. I watch her until she begins to climb the stairs. I take a deep breath and turn to the others. “Come on, we have to get moving!”


	11. taken in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've trimmed out some of the gameplay parts - mainly because I feel like they don't flow in the story, so if things seem off, that's probably why

We lose Wedge at the gate for Sector 6. He somehow manages to convince the guards to let people out, and then goes off to get more people to safety.

Aerith grabs my hand. “Seventh Heaven is just down here, isn’t it?” she asks. I nod. She takes off, pulling me behind her. I stumble, but manage to straighten up and follow her through the street.

“Get out of Sector 7!” she yells at the people we pass. “You need to get as far away from Sector 7 as possible!”

She pulls me to a stop next to a group of people near the Stargazer Heights apartment building. The group look first to Aerith, who is still shouting at people to leave the Sector, and then to me.

The woman who owns the apartments, Marle, turns to me. “Evie, do you know what’s going on?” she demands. Marle has always frightened me, with her no nonsense, straight to the point attitude. I also think she’s seen how often dad threw me out of the shop. “What do they want with the pillar?”

“They’re trying to drop the plate on us,” I tell her.

Markus, one of the men from the Neighborhood Watch, steps forward quickly. “Those sons of bitches!”

“What good do they think that’ll do?”

Marle turns to the group. “Feel free to cry about it later! Right now, we need to get everyone to safety.”

“Wait,” Markus interrupts. “The watch should clear the roads first!”

Aerith glances over at me while the others hurry to help. I step forward as Marle turns back, as if she expected me to call out to her. “If you see them –” I trail off. I don’t know how to ask; is it too much to ask?

“I’ll try to get your parents out.”

I swallow hard around the lump in my throat. “Thank you.”

She nods. “I didn’t know you were with Avalanche.”

“We just want to help,” Aerith tells her with a shake of her head.

Marle turns to me and smiles. “Tell Tifa to lay low. We’ll take care of things here.” Before I can thank her again, she hurries away, following after the other Watch members.

I take Aerith’s hand. “Come on!” I tell her, pulling her along with me. I point behind me. Just over the other buildings, I can see the sign for the bar. “We’re almost there!”

There’s an explosion above us, and for a moment I feel like laughing. I’ve heard enough explosions for a lifetime.

“Look out!” cries a voice somewhere behind me. “It’s going to crash!”

I look up just in time to see one of Shinra’s helicopters spinning out of control.

“Oh no,” I hear Aerith groan beside me.

The people around us start running. I grip her hand tighter. “Come on!” I tell her again. We have to move. It’s heading right for us. If we don’t move, we’ll be crushed!

But Aerith is frozen in place. I can’t tug her away from where she’s rooted to the ground. The helicopter spins dangerously close to the bar and crashes mere feet in front of us.

I feel a wave of heat. I land hard on my side, and again pain shoots down my arm and into my chest. I roll over onto my back. The smoke is thick and I try to breathe. I just need a minute. I just need to learn to breathe again.

I hear a scramble of feet a few moments later and suddenly Aerith is at my side. “Ryder, come on,” she says gently, as if we have all the time in the world.

I grit my teeth and allow her to help me stand. I hold my arm close to my chest. It’s not out of place again, I’m not sure what I did to it, but it sends a bolt of pain through me with each step I take.

We reach the bar, and I throw the doors open – they bounce off the walls behind them, sending a loud _thud_ throughout the empty bar.

“Marlene?” I call echoing in the silence here. She has to be here. I feel panic rising in my chest. We have to keep her safe.

“Marlene?” Aerith repeats, stepping further into the bar.

I hear a whimper. I rush forward, stumbling over a chair not pushed in entirely. I grab onto the table to keep my balance and move towards the counter. I step behind it. I see her little brown boots before I see her, and my knees give out.

I land in front of her hard, and I hear Aerith start to say something behind me. “Marlene,” I manage to force out. “You’re okay.”

She scrambles forward from where she’s hiding under the counter. “Evie!” she cries, latching her arms around my neck. I feel her trembling as I wrap my arms around her, ignoring the pain that comes with it. “What’s going on?” she asks, her breath tickling my neck. “Who is that?” I feel one of her arms leave my neck, and I know she’s pointing at Aerith.

“I’m a friend of Tifa!” she tells Marlene in a voice that sounds like she deals with kids a lot.

“You know Tifa?” Marlene asks. “Where is she?”

“She’s with the others,” I tell her, tightening my arms around her.

“Daddy?”

“You mean Barret?” Aerith asks, and I spin on my heels to look at her. How does she know that? “Yep, he’s there too.”

“Why isn’t he here?” she asks, turning her head so it’s tucked into the crook of my neck.

I stroke her back. We don’t have time for this, but I don’t want to scare her anymore than she already is. “He’s protecting people,” I tell her gently. “They all are. That’s why we’re here. It’s not safe here right now.”

I feel her trembling again, and I hold her even tighter. “Are they gonna destroy the bar?” she asks in a soft voice that breaks my heart. “Are they gonna destroy our house?”

“You still have your daddy,” Aerith reminds her before I can speak. “You can build a new home together anywhere.”

I stand up, shifting her weight to my good arm. “We have to go,” I whisper in her hair.

Marlene starts to cry, her little arms trying hard to hold me tight to her. I close my eyes and try not to cry. If Barret knew I hurt his little girl –

I open my eyes when I feel movement beside me. Aerith is stroking Marlene’s hair. “It’s okay,” she whispers, and when she throws a quick glance my way, I know she’s talking to us both.

Aerith moves first, holding open the swinging door for me. I shift Marlene again, wincing at the pain.

I’m at the tables when I realize I don’t hear footsteps behind me. I turn and see Aerith staring towards the register. There’s a yellow flower, a _real_ flower, sitting in a vase. I’ve never seen it before, and I don’t know why it catches her attention.

A moment later, she shakes herself from her gaze. She comes towards us, and we head for the doors. We don’t have any more time to stop.

“We’ll grow lots of flowers at your new house,” Aerith promises.

“Do you think that I could help too?” Marlene questions.

A small sound, almost like a chuckle, comes out of her. “Of course, you can. And maybe Ryder will come help too.”

“Evie doesn’t know anything about flowers!” Marlene says, a giggle almost noticeable in her voice.

“Neither do you, shorty,” I remind her, reaching for the door.

A bright light shines through the windows, blinding me and forcing me to take a step back into Aerith. Marlene groans in my arms, and Aerith steps in front of us. “What is that?” I ask, not really looking for an answer, but feeling the need to speak.

Marlene starts breathing heavy in my arms, and I’m terrified she’ll start to cry again. I reach up to stroke her hair as the doors to the bar swing open.

I recognize a Turk when I see one. I’ve only seen one once, years ago. Dad pointed him out to me from the shop window. I never knew why he was there, but I remembered him.

The man in front of me is definitely a Turk. His clean and pressed suit doesn’t belong here. His hair falling straight over his shoulders – he doesn’t look like he’s been in a warzone.

I grit my teeth when he steps forward. “You led us on a merry chase, Aerith.”

“Tseng.” I look over at her. How does she know him? What business does she have with Turks?

Tseng steps further into the bar. Aerith puts her hand out, pushing me back. Marlene has twisted in my arms to see what’s happening, but at the sight of the stranger she buries her head again in my neck.

“Before you say another word, know that your options are limited.”

I can’t stop myself from looking back and forth between the two in front of me. The confusion and the pain coursing through me are making me dizzy and I don’t think I’m fully understanding what’s going on here.

Aerith turns to me, her eyes travelling slowly from me to Marlene. “There’s nothing to be scared of,” she says, and again I can’t help but feel like it’s for both our benefits.

“How about we make a deal?” she says to the Turk.

He almost smiles as he steps away from the door, gesturing towards it. Aerith puts her hand on my elbow, and we leave the bar together. I try not to stare at the guards on either side of the door, or the guns in their hands.

Tseng leads the way towards the helicopter he must have arrived in. At it, he turns to Aerith. “What is this deal of yours?” he asks, cocking his head to the side over so slightly. My head is beginning to pound. I want to know what’s going on!

“Take them to my mother’s house,” she says simply. “And I’ll come with you.”

“The hell you will!” I shout before I even have time to think about them. “No. Take Marlene to safety, that’s fine. But I’m not leaving you.”

“Ryder, you don’t know what you’re saying,” Aerith starts, but I quickly shake my head to stop her.

“I’m not leaving you,” I tell her again, stepping towards her when I feel Marlene tense. “And I’m done talking about it,” I add in a low voice.

She takes a deep breath. “Let’s go. We’ll talk about it,” she says as if she didn’t hear what I just said.

Tseng opens the helicopter door and helps Aerith inside first. I pass her Marlene, who clings to her, gripping her dress in her tight little fists. He has the nerve to put his hands on me when I climb inside, and I rip my arm away from him, causing me to see stars when I realize too late it’s my bad arm.

I force myself forward and into the seat across from them. Aerith and I try to stare each other down as we lift off.


	12. laboratory

The helicopter takes us to Sector 5. Aerith and I try to keep Marlene calm during the ride; Aerith tells her about the flowers around her house, and Marlene looks almost excited to see it. As long as she’s safe, I wouldn’t care if Aerith lived in the sewer.

The helicopter touches down. Tseng steps out and holds his hand out for Aerith. She gently pushes Marlene to him and when she’s on the ground, she turns to me. “You should go with her.”

“No.” I tell her simply. “I’m not leaving you with them.”

She shakes her head gently. “They won’t hurt me,” she says. There’s no way she believes that. She can’t be that naïve.

“I’m staying,” I tell her again.

Aerith sighs, and then climbs down beside Marlene, who looks back at me. I kneel on the floor of the helicopter. “You’ll be safe,” I tell Marlene. “I’ll see you soon.”

Before they leave, Aerith turns back to Tseng. “I’ll be right back. Do not hurt her.”

Tseng doesn’t reply, and Aerith takes Marlene away, a guard right behind them. I turn to look behind me, and I see the other guard watching me, his gun in his hands. I swallow hard around the lump suddenly rising in my throat.

Tseng lifts himself back inside, sliding into the seat across from me. “Restrain her,” he tells the guard. He sets his gun down and turns to me, pulling out a set of handcuffs. “It would be in your best interest not to fight,” he says to me.

“Why are you doing this?” I demand. Tseng says nothing, and the guard pulls my arms behind my back, causing the pain to blossom in my shoulder. I bit my lip hard, but I don’t cry out.

I kick out at the guard as he tries to return to his seat. Tseng raises his hand before I can do it again. “We have leg restraints,” he tells me, and it sounds like a choice. I can’t fight back if I’m completely tied up. I swear I hear him laugh under his breath. “You’re going to regret not going with her.”

“Bite me, asshole!” I snap without thinking, fighting against my cuffs. I should have gone back to the pillar. I could have given Aerith the directions to the bar. I could have gotten back to the others –

I could have found Gideon. I close my eyes at the thought. He found Jessie, and they’re okay. Everyone is okay up there. Wedge got people out of Seven. Things will be fine.

“What is this?”

I open my eyes and see Aerith and her guard have returned. She’s looking at me, and I have to look away from the fierceness in her gaze. I asked for this. That’s what I keep telling myself as she climbs in beside me. _I asked for this._

The flight doesn’t take long, but the dull throb on my shoulder makes it feel like hours until we reach the Shinra HQ. If Barret was here, he’d lose his mind. He wouldn’t know where to start firing first.

The sheer size of the building makes me feel insignificant. I’ve only have seen this building on TV; seeing it in person is something else entirely.

The helicopter lands on the roof, and Tseng is the first one out. Aerith gestures for me to go next. The guard I kicked is apparently feeling petty, because I feel a foot to my back and then I’m on the ground outside the coper only the feeling of falling in between.

Aerith jumps out and lands beside me quickly, helping me up while the guards and Tseng just watch. “What did I say?” she demands. She tucks her hand under my arm and helps me to my feet. I can’t even be ashamed of the help I need – because I asked for this.

I turn to her, and try to smile. I don’t like the worried look she has. “I’m okay,” I tell her.

“Sir!” A different guard comes running up to us. “Reno and Rude have initiated plate separation!”

I feel my heart sink at his words. We didn’t help. Nothing we did mattered.

I hope the others don’t feel as terrible as I do. They at least stayed to help. I’ve been running away at every opportunity that comes along.

My personal guard grabs me and pulls me towards the control room behind the others. He’s none too gentle, but I wouldn’t expect anything less from Shinra lapdogs.

“What do we do?” I hear a familiar voice ask, but I don’t understand. She’s not here. Where could her voice be coming from?

Tseng hits a few buttons on the control panel in front of him, and the screen in front of him turns on. “Nothing,” he says. “There is nothing you can do now.”

“You can’t do this!”

“Tifa?” I call, trying to fight the grip my guard has on me, and failing. He’s stronger than he looks, and he doesn’t budge as I try to throw him off.

“Ryder?”

Aerith manages to break away from the guard holding her, but I don’t think it was as tightly as mine. “Tifa! We found Marlene!” Aerith shouts towards the screen when she reaches it.

“Marlene? My Marlene?” I hear Barret shout. “What did you do with her?”

I continue to fight against my guard, and he’s apparently had enough. He kicks at the back of my knees. The pain that erupts there causes my knees to buckle and I fall. He steps on the backs of my ankles and presses down until it feels as if the bones are grinding together.

“Ryder!”

“Where are you?” Another familiar voice asks in unison with Aerith’s cry.

“I’m at the –”

Tseng waves his hand, and Aerith falls quiet. Her guard appears behind her. “Sir. C’mon.”

He grabs Aerith and pulls her back. She comes to my side. There’s nothing she can do to make my guard release me, but she stays beside me.

“Your activities unwittingly brought you into contact with the Ancient, who is now back in our custody where she belongs.”

I turn slowly towards Aerith, who’s already looking at me with a sheepish smile on her face. “Ancient?” I force out as Tseng continues.

“Maybe I should have told you,” she says like it’s something unimportant as a favorite color or food.

“You’re an Ancient?” I repeat, trying to wrap my head around the possibility that it’s true. I try to remember what I learned about Ancients in school. I didn’t listen much when they talked about planetology, but I remember being told they were the original guardians of the planet.

And Aerith is one? She must be one of the last ones.

My hear starts to pound, and I close my eyes, trying to stop my racing thoughts in their place. That’s why they wanted her. That’s why she told me to stay with Marlene.

I should have listened.

“Get her up.”

My guard removes his foot from my ankles and pulls me to stand. I stumble, but Aerith catches me. “I’m sorry,” she tells me quietly.

“Don’t be,” I tell her before we’re forced to move. I hope she believes me. She has nothing to be sorry for.

I asked for this.

The elevator we enter is the nicest room I’ve ever been in, and it’s not even technically a room. Tseng uses a card from his pocket to get it moving. If I could move my arms, I would be tempted to touch the deep purple plush lining the bottom on the elevator, just below the pristine mirrors encasing us. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and cringe. I’m dirty, and sweaty, and there’s blood from a cut on my forehead I didn’t know was there until now. I look out of place in comparison to the others with me.

The elevator stops and the doors open. Tseng turns to my guard. “Take her to Professor Hojo. He’s expecting you.”

“Sir!”

He pushes me forward. I hear Aerith call out to me as the doors close behind us. My guard laughs as he guides me down the hall. I don’t know what he could find funny, and I don’t ask. I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of being curious.

He opens one of the doors with his own keycard and he pushes me through the door. A voice from somewhere above me says, “Bring me Prototype 106-A from the Weaponry.”

I feel my stomach drop at the word _Weaponry_. My guard shoves me into the room. I stumble over my feet. Not having my hands to stop me from falling is getting really annoying. I can’t stop myself from falling. Pain throbs in my shoulder, and I force myself to take a deep breath before rolling over and getting to my knees. I take a couple more breaths before I try to stand, but my ankles are sore from where that asshole held me down.

I hear footsteps behind me and turn in time to see someone enter from a door on the other side of the room. Long hair must be a requirement for the men who work for Shinra, because like Tseng, this man’s hair is tied back. His white lab coat is filthy and I can’t even see his eyes behind his glasses, even as he comes up to me.

“Evie Ryder,” he says in a slow voice, and I cringe at the way my name sounds from his mouth.

“How do you know my name?” I ask before I can stop myself. I grit my teeth and curse myself for speaking to this man.

He chuckles, leaning down so his face is level with mine. “You think we don’t know everything about you?” I keep my mouth shut this time. They had us on video breaking into reactors. Of course, they know us.

The door opens behind us, but I refuse to look away from this man first – Hojo, I think they said his name was. My guard hands something over to him and leaves just as quickly. “Now,” Hojo starts as the door closes behind us. “You probably don’t think you’ve made a mistake coming here tonight, but you will soon enough.”

He extends the rod in his hand. There’s a crackle of electricity at the tip. “This is just a prototype,” he tells me like I care. I can’t take my eyes off the bolts coming from the end. “Aerith is very important to us,” he says, and I cringe again at his voice. “We can’t hurt her, but we need her to help us.”

“I don’t give a shit about what you need,” I say through gritted teeth. My heart is pounding painfully against my chest. I know what’s going to happen, and I try to set my face to nothing. I can’t let him know I’m afraid.

He steps forward. The rod is raised in his hand.

I force myself to look at his face. “I’m not afraid of you,” I say, almost relieved to hear my voice come out loud and steady.

“No, but rest assured, you will be.”

He pushes the rod against my shoulder. The tip is cold and I shiver at the touch. I grit my teeth harder and take a deep breath, my eyes never leaving his.

He activates the rod and the scream rips out of me as the shocks travel through my body.


	13. losing yourself

My entire body hurts. Focusing on the pain is the only thing that’s keeping me from losing consciousness. Hojo is laughing from wherever he is above me. I can’t force myself to open my eyes. Seeing the shocks coming is worse than not knowing.

“I’ve always found it… _fascinating_ how different people react to electric shocks,” he says simply.

I don’t care. I try to focus on Aerith, who is somewhere in this building with me. She’s surely being treated better than this. I try to focus on Marlene, safe in a house surrounded by flowers, and how relieved Barret will be when he finds her. Tifa and Cloud and Jessie and Wedge and Gideon-

My heart leaps at the thought of Gideon. He can’t see me like this. He can’t see me struggling on the ground, trying desperately to sit up. Heat has settled just below my skin, and I don’t know for sure if I’m imagining it or not. Hojo has shocked me more times than I care to remember, several times in the same spot on my shoulder.

I tried not to scream – I tried to be strong – but after so many times, I couldn’t hold back anymore.

That’s when he stopped. He walked off and is somewhere to my left now. I finally manage to open my eyes and see him sitting at a table on the other side of the room. The rod is sitting beside him, and just seeing it makes my stomach turn, and I can feel bile rising in my throat, but I force myself to swallow it back down.

There’s a folder in front of him. I don’t know what’s inside it, if anything at all, but he’s looking down at it, and he only looks up when I force myself up on my knees. The room tilts dangerously to the side, and I put my hand out to stop myself from falling with it. I stare at the tiles below me until things straighten back.

“It says here your parents owned an armory, that’s interesting.” How does he know that? Shinra can’t actually have a file on me, can they? “Did you manage to get them out of Sector 7 before the plate fell?”

I grit my teeth, but I don’t respond. I don’t know. I don’t know if they listened to me, or if Marle found them. They could be in Sector 6, or they could be in the rubble of 7.

“No?” he questions when I don’t respond. “Well, then, they’re probably dead.”

I jerk my bad arm, causing my shoulder to throb, just so I have something to focus on. I can’t think about that. I can’t let the idea of mom and dad being dead run wild, because then I’m going to imagine the others, and I can’t. I know they’re okay. _I know they are._

“Oh, it says here you’ve come into contact with Cloud Strife. Interesting.” He’s just trying to get me to acknowledge him. He wants me to play his games, but I can’t give in. I won’t.

He tries again, mentioning other people from 7 that I know. I don’t know where he’s reading the names from. Each name hits me differently. They couldn’t have all made it. There’s no way we got everybody out of 7.

He names Tifa, and Marle, and Jessie, and Markus, and Wedge. He mentions Barret and I feel myself close to being sick again when he questions how many shocks Marlene could take. I’m going to kill him. _She’s just a little girl._

“Gideon Biggs?”

That catches my attention. He’s watching me closely, smiling in a way that makes my skin crawl. If I had any strength left, I would charge him. Maybe I’d beat the shit out of him, or maybe I’d die, but at least I would have done more than just sit here while he torments me.

“I see I’ve finally gotten your attention,” that son of a bitch has the nerve to say. “He must have been special to you.” He stands, and grabs the rod in his fist. His pace is slow, as if he’s enjoying this. I bet he is; he just strikes me as that sick. “Was he at the pillar? Did you leave him to die too?”

He raises the rod, and I move without thinking as he brings it down. I dodge to the side just barely, and manage to grab the metal. I can see the electricity cackle at the end, and for a moment we just watch each other. It’s hot to the touch, but I can’t find the strength to let go.

And then he smiles, ripping the rod away from me. With a grace I wouldn’t have pegged him having, he twirls it in his hand and brings the end down on my temple. Everything goes white and then I’m back on the floor.

“You didn’t save anybody.”

His footsteps fade. I close my eyes and focus on the pain throbbing from my shoulder and my head and my burns. I’m fine. I’m fine. _I’m fine._

He’s right.

I roll over onto my back, and try to catch my breath. I hear the door click open. It must be my guard from earlier, because when he walks past me, I receive a swift kick to the side. It doesn’t even hurt, but it knocks the wind out of my lungs. I cough, but force myself to stop when that does hurt. I curl into myself, closing my eyes tight against the lights above me. Why are they brighter than before?

Where is Gideon?

I hear Hojo mumbling under his breath, and it reminds me of dad in the back of the shop. I hope they’re in 6.

“It seems the Ancient’s being difficult.”

I try to raise my head. I want to tell him to leave Aerith alone, but the words won’t come. My mouth refuses to open, and eventually I stop trying and lay my head down again. The tiles are warm, my whole body is warm. I can feel sweat gathering at my temples, and I wish I still had my bandana. I don’t know where I lost it. Where could I have lost it?

My guard grabs me, his grip tight enough to bruise and he drags me to my feet. The room tilts again, but he keeps his hold on me so I’m not afraid of falling.

Hojo steps up in front of me. It takes everything I have to finally raise my head and look him in the eye.

“Crying? Pathetic.” I don’t understand. I’m not crying. It doesn’t feel like I’m crying. “Take her.”

My guard turns us quickly, and my feet stumble under me, but he just grips tighter. One of his fingers is pressing down on a burn, and I grit my teeth to keep from crying out. I won’t give them the satisfaction – not again.

It feels like he drags me through the lab for hours, but I don’t think that’s right. I don’t know how long it’s been since we got here. Was it today, or yesterday?

“Ryder!”

I look up, and see Aerith, locked away in a cell. She’s not exactly being treated well, but she looks okay.

My guard tosses me into the cell with her. I hit the ground hard, and I don’t try to sit up. What’s the point? Hojo was right. I can’t save anyone.

“Ryder,” Aerith says again, her voice softer this time. I watch her hand raise, but when it touches my cheek, I flinch back before I have time to think. She’s not going to hurt me. I know she won’t.

She doesn’t ask what happened, but I wouldn’t have told her if she did. She’d just blame herself for not forcing me to stay in Sector 5, and that wouldn’t be fair. It’s not her fault.

Instead, she helps me sit up. I bit my lip hard to keep from making any noise. The side of the cell is cold, and a shiver passes through me quickly, and thankfully painlessly.

She hands me a bottle, a potion from the looks of it, and helps me drink it. It burns going down, but it overtakes the heat under my skin and a sigh breaks out before I can stop it.

“I’ll protect you,” she whispers.

I close my eyes as the potion starts to work its magic.


	14. broken down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more very plot/game heavy chapters coming - I follow the game very closely for the rest of this story, so just keep that in mind for the following chapters

There’s too much noise; shouting and footsteps and gunfire. None of it means anything to me. The potion Aerith gave me is working, and the pain in my shoulder is almost completely gone. I keep rolling the joint, trying to feel something, but it just feels like I’ve slept on it funny.

There are too many voices. I close my eyes against the sounds coming from everywhere. I feel a hand on my arm and I open my eyes. Aerith is above me, hovering over me. There are gunshots and even though I’ve been hearing them all night (day? longer?) I still flinch.

“Ryder?”

I look up and see Tifa standing beside Aerith. I don’t like the wide-eyed look she has as she stares down at me. I know what she’s thinking – she thinks I’m weak.

I look over her shoulder and see Barret and Cloud outside our cell, watching us.

“What,” she starts, but doesn’t finish. She reaches forward, raising her hand to my shoulder, where Hojo shocked me more times than I can remember. Aerith stops Tifa’s hand before she can touch me, and I’m grateful for her intervention. I look down and see the mark, the potion making it look like a rough scar in a perfect circle. I’m sure there are others over my body, but this one is the worst. I know it is.

“We have to get out of here,” Cloud calls over to us. He’s right. As much as I’d like to sit in this cell and forget about everything else, I can’t. There’s always going to be more work to be done, and I have to force myself into it.

I try to stand, but Tifa has to grab my elbow to keep me from falling back down. I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here, not helping, but it’s been long enough that my legs have fallen asleep.

Tifa helps me forward, but then pulls me to a stop before I can take a second step. A creature lands in front of us – like a dog, but different. The only thing my mind can wrap itself around is that it looks like a weird dog with a flame on its tail. The others gasp as it takes us in, and I can hear a soft growl coming from where I am. Tifa moves away from me, hands raised and prepared to fight, before the creature darts away as quickly as it came.

“What the hell is going on?” I mumble to myself.

At the same time, Barret shouts, “What the hell was that thing?” Which was my second question. I hate this place, and I just want to leave.

“We have to go!” Aerith says, taking off up the stairs, towards the next room. Tifa calls after her, but she doesn’t stop.

“Come on,” Cloud says, as if we were going to continue to stand around and not go after her.

My legs are feeling better now, so I’m the first to move after Cloud. I hear Barret start to call something behind me, but I don’t stop until I’ve found them in the next lab.

The creature is at the other end of the hall, and I only assume it’s the same because of the flame on its tail. I catch a glimpse of a white lab coat before the doors close and I grit my teeth without thinking.

It’s still growling as it approaches us. I pull my gun from my holster and take aim. Aerith raises a hand, like she has eyes in the back of her head. I don’t lower the gun, but my fingers not on the trigger, and she’ll have to take it.

“This child’s a friend,” she says, as if that makes any sense at all. She steps forward towards the creature. The others try to stop her, but she reaches down and puts her hand on its head.

Nothing happens for a long moment, and then the creature closes its eyes, its growling fading into silence. I turn and share a confused look with Barret, who shrugs. “So, what the hell is it?” he asks.

I shrug, and look over my shoulder at the others. Tifa looks just as confused as I feel. I holster my weapon; it doesn’t look like I’ll be needing it right now.

The creature pauses, and then steps forward. “A fascinating question,” it says.

“What?” Tifa and I exclaim in unison. I’m glad I’m not the only one shocked to hear the thing talk.

Too much has happened today, and I really need a rest.

“Did it just talk?” Tifa asks, looking over at me.

He moves forward towards up. “You asked what ‘it’ is. I am that which you see before you. Nothing more. I’d appreciate it if we simply left it at that. Agreed?” He starts to walk away. I’m fine with anything that makes things less confusing. I roll my shoulder, but there’s no pain to focus on.

“Thirteen?” Tifa asks, and I feel like I’ve missed something.

He sits down in front of us. “‘Red XIII.’ The designation given to me by Hojo.”

“You must have another name,” Tifa insists. “What is it?”

Red doesn’t answer, and I’m not sure if it’s because he doesn’t know or doesn’t want us to know. Tifa doesn’t press him on it in the silence that follows.

“He got away,” Cloud says from behind us. I know he’s upset about Hojo escaping, but I’m grateful. I never want to see him again.

If I do, I’ll kill him.

Cloud starts down the hallway, and for a moment I don’t notice something’s wrong. I only notice when he grabs his head in his hand. He’s about halfway down the hallway, but I can hear him mumbling something. I see Tifa and Aerith exchange a glance between them. I don’t know why none of us step forward – I don’t know why we just stand here watching as he makes his way to the end of the hall, staggering and mumbling.

“Cloud!” Aerith and Tifa shout together when he collapses

I’m the first one to move, and I’m the first one to reach him. I grab his shoulder and turn him over. He’s heavier than I expected, but I figure it must be that SOLDIER muscle.

Red appears beside me and sniffs.

“Cloud?” I say loudly, trying to get any sort of reaction, but he doesn’t move or flinch.

The others join me. Tifa falls to her knees on my other side. I turn back to Aerith. “We can’t stay here!” She doesn’t answer me right away. Her eyes never leave Cloud’s face. I watch her, watching for her to respond. We don’t have the time for this. “Aerith!”

“I know where we can go,” she says instantly.

“I got him.” We dodge out of Barret’s way. He bends down and picks Cloud up with ease. “Lead the way,” he says to Aerith.

She nods. “This way.” She takes off down the hall, and we have to hurry to keep up with her. She doesn’t pause while she leads us through different hallways until we reach a room, completely isolated from the rest of the lab.

The door is unlocked when she tries it. “Put him on the bed,” she says, holding the door open for Barret.

Cloud shifts just a bit when Barret lays him down, and I hope he wakes up soon; the sooner he’s up, the sooner we can get the hell out of here.

The room is small, and messy. It looks more like a storage closet than anything else. I wait for Aerith to explain how she knew about this place, but she doesn’t say anything. In fact, no one does.

Red lays down by the door, crossing his paws and resting his head on them. Barret takes a seat on the small sofa, and it groans under his weight. Tifa sits at the edge of the bed, watching Cloud closely. I watch Aerith; I’m sure she’s going to go over to the bed as well, but instead stands staring at the wall, which is covered in bright drawings of people and plants and _color_.

I sit down on the floor, against a set of dressers facing the bed. Sitting down feels nice. Being able to relax would be even better. No one tries to wake Cloud, even though we probably should. It seems like we all need this small break.


	15. let me go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just another scene ripped straight from the game - sorry about that

I don’t know how much time passes until Cloud stirs. No one is talking; no one moves more than just a shift.

I lift my hand and press down on the rough circle scar on my shoulder. It hurts, like pressing down on a nasty bruise. That’s good to know.

I sit there quietly, watching the others, until Cloud starts to stir. I see him open his eyes from my spot on the floor.

Tifa turns towards him. “Cloud!”

“Thank goodness, you’re awake!” Aerith exclaims as he sits up.

“You okay?” Tifa asks.

Cloud takes a moment, turning himself to sit on the edge of the bed. “Yeah.” He glances around, the same way I did earlier when we arrived. “Where are we?”

“Where I lived, when I was still a child,” Aerith tells him easily, but I can hear her voice shake as she speaks. She turns back to the wall, with the colorful pictures. She must have been the one who drew them there. No wonder she knew about this place.

“Every morning, they’d come and take my mom away; I remember crying here alone,” she admits quietly.

Cloud approaches her slowly. “Aerith, before we break out of here…talk to us. There’s no much we don’t know.”

“I’m…a descendent of the Ancients. That’s pretty much it really,” she says as if it’s not important. I stand up. I wonder why the others don’t look as surprised as I felt when I first found out. “But just so you know, that’s not their actual name. They called themselves the Cetra.”

Barret, from his spot on the couch, finally speaks. “‘We who are born on the planet, with her we speak. Her flesh we shape. Unto her promised land shall we one day return.’” He stands and makes his way over to Aerith, who is watching him silently. “‘By her loving grace and providence may we take our place in paradise.’”

“You know it!” she says, sounding impressed. I hope she knows what she’s in for – getting him started on this planet talk. He’ll never stop until someone stops him.

“Yeah, well, honestly, I thought that part was just a fairytale.”

Aerith shrugs. “Shinra thinks it’s true. They’ve been searching for the promised land for a long time.”

“And they must think you can lead them to it,” Tifa starts.

“Can you?” I ask, finishing the thought I know was forming in everyone’s head. It’s crazy to think Shinra’s looking for this promised land, and Aerith is the only one alive that could find it for them. No wonder they wanted her.

No wonder she told me to stay put in Sector 5.

She shakes her head. “Nope. Someday, maybe, I’ll find it in me. But now? Not even if I wanted to.”

“Even if you could, that land belongs to the –” Barret pauses, like he just realized he’s not talking to a Shinra lackey. I raise my eyebrow at him; he doesn’t see it, but I’m curious as to how he’ll finish his thought. “I mean, to you and your people. Shinra’s after it because they believe it’s rich in mako – mako they’ve got no right to claim. But they’ll try to take it anyway, won’t they? Greedy bastards will never stop! Okay. New plan. Y’all take Aerith and get the hell out of here. Me? I’m gonna bust some Shinra heads!”

I roll my eyes. Cloud catches me, and I see the corner of his mouth tilt up, almost as if he’s about to smile. I shouldn’t care, but I take it as a win.

“Barret, wait…you can’t do that,” Aerith starts, but it interrupted by a thick swarm of gray cloaks coming into the room and circling us.

I watch them fly around us for a moment before looking over at the others. They don’t look as worried as they should. Have they seen this before?

Why do I get the feeling I’m one step behind everyone else?

Red stands and makes his way to my side. “Whispers,” he says, and I’m not sure if it’s for just my benefit or the others too. “Perhaps best described as arbiters of fate. They are drawn to those who attempt to alter destiny’s course and ensure they do not.”

“Like capital D – Destiny?” Tifa asks hesitantly.

“The flow of the great river that is the planet, from inception to oblivion.”

I push down on my scar. My head in throbbing and I can’t seem to wrap my head around what they’re saying.

“And you’re saying that that flow is somehow fixed?”

“Yes. For it is the will of the planet itself.”

I take a step forward, gesturing wildly at the Whispers around us. “That can’t be possible.”

Barret nods at my words. “How in the hell can you possibly know any of that?” he demands of Red. “Spouting that cryptic stuff – which could all be bullshit! I mean, ain’t you a Shinra lab rat, ah, dog?

Red turns his head away from us. “I’m not a rat dog,” he says, and there’s something about the way he says it that makes me almost laugh. Coughing to conceal a laugh doesn’t work, but it’s the only thing I can think to do.

The others look over at me, and I drop my hand and struggle to keep my face straight.

Red huffs, and then continues. “When Aerith reached out to me, I found this knowledge of the Whispers.”

They continue to talk, but I can’t focus. If what he’s saying it true, we were supposed to end up here. I was supposed to be in Hojo’s lab; I was supposed to get separated from Gideon at the pillar. Why would destiny want people to be miserable? Why would it want to hurt people?

If I had decided to stay at the pillar, or go with Marlene to Sector 5, what would have happened? What could have happened to make it so I ended up here, in the end?

I rub my temples slowly, trying to stop the throbbing. Thinking about this isn’t doing anyone any good.

Thankfully, the two televisions on the wall turn to static, giving me the distraction I need.

The others turn and look up at the screens, and the mayor of Midgar comes into view. “Ah-ha! There are you!” The camera jerks to the side, and I step forward when I see the other person in the room.

“Wedge!” I shout, my heart pounding. He’s alive. Hojo was wrong about him. He’s alive. He looks okay! “Are you okay?” I demand.

“You shouldn’t be up and moving!” Barret shouts from behind me.

The relief of seeing him, up and moving around, alive, makes my vision blurry for a moment. I close my eyes tightly for a second to try and clear my head. I’m glad no one can see it. I don’t want them worrying about me.

“I’m feeling much better, thanks to Elmyra’s cooking! But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. Listen, any moment now –”

Almost comically on cue, the room shakes and there’s a loud _boom_ coming from somewhere around us. There is so much going on that my brain is having trouble focusing on something longer than a few seconds.

“What was that?” Tifa asks, like we have any idea. “An explosion?”

“HQ’s running the show this time,” Wedge tells us. “They’re raising hell to try and flush out the president.”

“Good!” I say before I can stop myself.

The camera shifts again, and the mayor is back on the screen. “This complicates matters. That explosion just now put the whole building on high alert. But you can still move freely within Hojo’s laboratory.”

“Find a way to the roof! An Avalanche chopper will come to extract you.”

I turn to look back at Barret. He scoffs. “HQ’s bailing us out? I doubt it. Not after all the shit we’ve pulled.”

“I asked them really nicely!” Wedge tells us. I shake my head. Of course, he did. “Like, super-duper nicely!”

“Thanks, Wedge.”

“Just get to the roof!”

The screens go black. No one moves. I take a look around at them. Things feel different. Since getting to this building, I feel okay. Things are going to work themselves out,

Everything is going to be okay.


	16. playing games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes I like to skip over scenes

We make our way through hallways and elevators and honestly, it all looks the same, but the others seem sure we’re going the right way, so I stay quiet and follow.

There are monsters that look vaguely human, but they’re taken care of quickly. Every time we stop, my heart pounds painfully in my chest. We have to get out of here. We don’t have time to stop. If we don’t make it to the roof in time –

I try to force my thoughts away from that one. I don’t want to think about what will happen if we run out of time.

We step out of another elevator, and the sheer size of the room in front of us makes me pause, even after everything I’ve been thinking and worrying about.

“The hell is this place?” Barret asks before I find my voice, but he’s asked the exact question that was beginning to form.

“Hojo’s treasure,” Red says, and I feel myself cringe. Would I have ended up here?

Again, it’s something I shouldn’t think about.

“What I wouldn’t give to burn it all down,” Barret says easily. As long as Hojo was here too, I’d be all for it. “But we need to get to the roof.”

If Jessie was here, we could use one of her bombs.

We continue along the walkway, but stop again in front of a tank. Inside, it looks almost like a woman, but the skin isn’t quite right. It’s gray, like ash, and there’s something about it that sends a shiver up my back. I don’t want to be here.

“What is that?” Barret asks behind me. I could almost laugh at how in sync we seem to be in these last few hours.

“Jenova.” Aerith tells him.

We need to keep moving, and I’m about to open my mouth to remind the others, when I hear a groan behind me. I turn and see Cloud leaning forward, his head in his hand. I move towards him quickly. “Cloud?” I ask softly.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I glance over and see Tifa, but she’s not watching me. I turn back, and see what’s caught her attention.

I’ve only seen him once, on the crummy little TV at the shop. The hair gives him away, and when he turns, I see he has the same glow behind his eyes as Cloud – only his eyes look more like cat eyes.

“Sephiroth?” The name escapes me before I can think.

His eyes narrow, but never leave Cloud’s form. Cloud takes a step forward, and then another one. If not for Tifa’s hand on my shoulder, I would stop Cloud from getting any closer. But I can’t move. I can’t force myself away from Tifa’s grip. My brain and my body are on two different frequencies.

“Tell me,” Cloud forces out. “Is it really you?” He groans again, louder this time, and grabs his head with both hands.

That forces me out of my trance. I move forward. “Cloud!” I say loudly, hoping he’ll hear me over his groans and whatever is happening in his head.

He stumbles away from me, getting closer to Sephiroth, who smirks at what he’s seeing. I don’t like the way he’s watching Cloud. I don’t like what he does to Cloud.

“Don’t deny me,” Sephiroth says, his voice deeper than I thought it would sound. “Embrace me.”

Cloud falls silent. There is no sound for just one, long moment before Cloud screams. He grabs the sword from his back and runs forward towards Sephiroth, who uses his own sword to cut the walkway. Cloud jumps for him, but is knocked away.

The walkway falls from beneath out feet. I hear Barret let out a curse from behind us. I reach for my grappling gun, and find it missing.

They left me my gun and dagger but not my grappling gun?!

I hit the ground hard, the air knocked out of my lungs. I lay there, forcing myself to take breaths, and waiting for the pain of falling.

But nothing happens. I continue to lay there until I catch my breath. I stand, stumbling over the broken metal and stone around me.

I see a bit of pink ahead of me, and I hurry over. “Aerith?” I call.

She sits up, and then stands quickly. “You okay?” she asks.

I nod. “You?”

She shrugs. “Been better.”

“Ryder!”

I turn on my heel and see Tifa making her way over to us slowly, stepping over the rubble just as carefully as I did. “You good?” I ask when she reaches us. She has a red welt on her arm, but it’s not bleeding, and I don’t even know if she knows it’s there.

“I’m good.”

I roll my shoulder; I’m not sure if it’s a habit now, but there’s no pain. “We have to find the others.”

Tifa nods. “I’ve seen enough of this place for a lifetime.” I don’t speak, but I hope she knows I feel exactly the same way.

It takes ages for us to meet up again. Hojo wants to play his games, and we have no choice but to go along with it in the hopes of finding the others.

This place is a maze with a hundred secret passages and I’m on the edge of screaming almost the entire time. I bit my lip and don’t speak, because if I do, I’m just going to keep repeating myself.

We don’t have time for this!

But I stay quiet. I help where I can, and after what feels like hours, Tifa pulls the right lever, and Aerith pushes open the door to allow the others to join us.

We hurry to another elevator, at the other end of the hall we’re standing in. They keep mentioning Hojo’s name and each time I feel sick. It wouldn’t have been so bad had I not been forced to play his games.

It’s probably a good thing Aerith got me out when she did. If I had been stuck there any longer, who knows how I’d feel now?

The elevator opens, and we’re back to where we started, near the tank that contained Jenova.

Only now, it’s completely destroyed. There’s mako floating in the air and there’s a bright purple goo on the floor. The others argue about what happened, and who caused it, but none of that matters. We have to get out of here! It’s clearly even more unsafe for us to be hanging around.

“Let’s go,” Cloud says before taking off down the walkway. We make it to another elevator. Red says the floor above us is President Shinra’s office, and then finally the roof, where hopefully the helicopter is still waiting for us.


	17. fixing mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evie is fucking cold, man

The purple goo leads us on our way. I try not to step in it; I don’t want to think about what it is, but I want someone else to mention it. I _need_ someone to mention it.

We enter the President’s office, and it’s one of the nicest rooms I’ve ever been in. It’s like the elevator Aerith and I took when we first arrived, only this is an actual room. It’s huge – and remarkably clean. How many people does the President hire to keep his office so clean?

“Where the hell is that bastard hiding?” Barret demands, breaking my off-topic thoughts. I shouldn’t be thinking about that nonsense anyway. I have to focus on what’s going on here.

“I can hear something,” Red says as the others pull ahead.

I match my pace with Cloud’s as we follow a voice, muffled while inside the office, but clearer as we make our way outside; it’s calling for help.

The cold air stuns me for a moment when I step onto the damaged balcony. If we were back in Seven, I’d be sweltering at home, but here I feel almost cold.

Things really are different between being topside and in the slums.

Barret reaches over the edge and pulls up a man I immediately recognize as President Shinra. He’s the reason we’re here. He’s the reason for all of this!

I hate him almost as much as I hate Hojo.

“Please let me live,” he begs. I wonder if he would have spared the people of Seven if they had begged. “Everything you want can be yours!”

I step up beside Barret as he says, “I’m a man of modest dreams. Dropping you from seventy stories up would get me damn near to good.” He turns to me. I can’t see his eyes behind his glasses, but he nods, just barely enough to see. He knows what I’m thinking.

We’ve been in sync a lot today.

“But not all the way. You want something _more_ , don’t you?”

“More than this right here? Talk to me again like you know me.” With strength I’ve never seen him show before, Barret tosses Shinra in the air and manages to catch him by the collar of his jacket. My heart pounds at the idea that Barret could just drop him, and that would be the end of it.

It would be so _easy_.

He looks over at me again. “I’d like to see him fall,” I confess quietly.

“Ryder!” Tifa shouts. Obviously, I wasn’t quiet enough.

“Stop it!” Aerith adds.

Barret sighs, and then throws Shinra over his shoulder, so he hits the balcony hard. And then Barret goes after him. Shinra can obviously tell he’s in trouble, because he quickly backs away from Barret.

“You’re gonna get on TV and tell them,” Barret says, his voice loud but steady as he pushes Shinra back inside. “Tell them what you did for Sector 7 – that it was you who killed all those people! Then, you’re gonna tell them the truth about Avalanche, that Avalanche ain’t Wutai or anybody’s puppet!” His voice fades as he chases Shinra inside to his office.

I look around at the others. Tifa is watching me closely, and I don’t like it. I’m not the one she needs to worry about!

I hurry after Barret. If he’s going to kill Shinra, I want to watch.

But that’s not what I see when I reenter the room. Shinra’s holding a gun on Barret. I move forward quickly, drawing my own gun as I move.

Shinra turns his attention to me for just a moment, but his aim doesn’t leave Barret. I cock my gun, and take another step.

And then I see the sword sticking out of Shinra’s middle. He grunts as it happens, and his gun falls to the ground. He falls, and I see Sephiroth behind me.

“You son of a bitch!” Barret shouts.

I hear footsteps behind me, but I don’t turn. I keep my aim on Sephiroth and inch my way closer to Barret.

The Whispers swarm in, wrapping and twisting themselves around us until I can’t see. I lower my gun and try to force them away. I try to move through them, but don’t manage to get far until I hear a sound coming from Barret that I’ve never heard before.

I’m watching it happen, and it still takes entirely too long to process it. Sephiroth’s sword is now through Barret’s middle. His glasses fall from the attack and clatter to the ground.

Aerith rushes past me, and then Tifa., but I can’t move. I can’t look away, even as Barret collapses to the floor and the Whispers obscure my view of him.

The only thought that makes any sense is: _What are we going to tell Marlene?_

A monster appears, a large one out of nowhere. I can’t force myself to fight. I don’t know where my gun is. All I can do is make my way to Barret. The ground hurts my knees when I fall to them, and I focus on the pain. If I focus on that pain, I can push aside everything else.

I hear the others fighting around me, but I can’t move. The Whispers are thicker, and I wonder if they were at the pillar. Did they block other people’s views – did they get people killed?

Wedge is okay. Jessie and Gideon are okay too. They have to be.

There’s movement beside me, and I lean back, heart pounding. Barret groans and sits up. I fall back on my butt, landing hard but ignoring that pain as I scramble to sit up again.

“Barret?” I manage to force out.

Tifa’s at my side instantly, and I hear the others making their way over.

“Are you hurt?” she asks gently.

Barret feels along his chest and stomach slowly, and when he removes his hand, I’m terrified it’s going to be covered in blood, but it’s not. It’s like the last few minutes haven’t happened at all.

“Don’t think so,” he says easily, like he can’t believe it either.

I let out a shaky breath I didn’t know I was holding. This is too much. We have to get out of here.

“This death was not the one ordained for you by fate.” I turn to look back at Red. This isn’t the time for this.

I reach forward and help Barret sit up, and he stops, eyes locked on the Whisper just in front of us.

“Thanks,” he tells it. It, along with its friends, leave without a problem. My hand is still on Barret’s arm, and he’s shaking just slightly. I wouldn’t even be able to tell if I wasn’t touching him.

Cloud leaves without a word. Tifa shouts after him, but it’s Aerith who responds. “Let him go. He’s got to finish something.”

I look back at her. There’s more to this girl than meets the eye. There’s something about her I can’t put my finger on.

Then again, maybe it’s the whole Ancient thing.

With Tifa’s help, we slowly get Barret to his feet. He staggers for a moment, and then seems perfectly fine. “Let’s go,” he says, before heading out after Cloud.

It’s actually Cloud who finds us. We’re near the helicopter pad when he hurries over to us. The helicopter Wedge told us about is coming into land when suddenly it explodes.

The others are surprised, given their gasps, but I can’t find it in me to be anything other than annoyed. Of course, our escape via helicopter would have been too easy. Of course, now we’re stuck here on the roof, open to another attack.

Cloud grabs my arm, and pulls me away from the second helicopter about to land. I don’t argue, and let his lead me back towards building.

I look behind me, and my legs stop working without me having to think. Cloud’s pulled to a stop with me, and the others turn when they see we’re not with them.

We watch Rufus Shinra climbing out of the second helicopter, surrounded by guards and a strange looking dog.

Barret steps forward, but Cloud turns to him. “Stop!”

“The hell I will! We can finish off the family here and now!”

“Take Aerith and get out of here.” Cloud tells him. His words cut through me, and I wonder if the others feel the same way. He just said Aerith. Does he not care about the rest of us? Is it because she’s what they want?

Rufus’ guard start approaching. I pull my gun, but Cloud steps forward. “I’ll by you guys some time.”

“I could stay here – back you up.”

Cloud turns. His face looks no different than before, but there is something different about this. “Barret, I’m asking you. Please.”

“Fine,” Barret gives in a moment later. “But you better be right behind us.” Barret grabs my shoulder and pushes me towards the others. I don’t holster my gun, and I don’t look back as I grab Aerith’s hand and force her away from the disaster that’s about to begin behind us.


	18. crumble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter subtitle: the truth, revealed

We get all the way to the elevator before Tifa leaves to go back to Cloud with an apology. We debate going after her, but Barret takes helping Aerith to heart and refuses to let her go. I don’t know why I can’t go back, but I don’t argue with him when he says no the first time.

We run into a slight problem, namely gunfire from the neighboring elevator, causing ours to crash on the 59th floor. My head is beginning to pound again, and I can’t stop thinking that we’re never going to get out of here.

“Still in one piece?” Barret asks as we make it out of the elevator.

“Yeah.”

“Somehow,” Aerith adds. Red hums his agreement.

Aerith leads the way to another elevator, and we ride in silence the whole way down to the lobby.

Before the doors open, Barret nods to me, and I take the right side of the door. When they open, my gun is raised and I check for danger, but quickly realize we’re alone here. Barret does a similar sweep, and Aerith and Red join us.

A sense of déjà vu hits me hard, and it takes me a moment to remember the last time I did this, I was with Gideon, before we attacked the last reactor. That seems like such a long time ago, but it really wasn’t. A couple days, at most.

It feels like a lifetime.

“All we gotta do now is find the others,” Barret says, but his voice fades away into footsteps. I turn, and see a dozen or so guards surrounding us, their guns raised, all aimed at one of us.

A man steps up, dressed differently than the others, and I can only assume he’s in charge. I raise my gun, but Barret quickly puts his hand on it and forces my arms down. That’s not like him. I would have expected him to do the same.

“It was only a matter of time, and here we are,” the man says before laughing. There’s nothing particularly funny, but I’m not about to argue. “So then – what is this ragtag group of misfits I see before me?”

“Avalanche!”

“Local florist!”

“Shopkeeper?”

“Lab rat dog.”

The man laughs again, only this time it is actually funny. He clearly didn’t think we’d answer him, and certainly not to the detailed degree we did. “And where are the rest of you?”

“Up your ass!” Barret shouts, and despite the death staring me in the face, I laugh behind my hand. If I’m about to die, that was worth it.

“Charming. Though not what I would’ve chosen as my last words. Secure the Ancient, but feel free to kill both the idiot and the dog. Hojo wants the girl.” I’ll be dead before Hojo gets me again. Red steps in front of me. I don’t know how he’s trying to help, but I appreciate the gesture.

Barret turns to me and Aerith. “You saved my Marlene,” he says, his voice gentle despite the chaos around us. “Now it’s time I returned the favor.”

He raises his gun, and just as I’m raising mine, Aerith calls, “Wait!”

Before we can do anything, a strange noise comes from somewhere above or behind us. I can’t place my finger on what it is, and judging by the confusion on everyone’s faces, the guards and the man as well, I can’t be the only one who has no idea what’s going on.

It’s a motorcycle. I realize it quickly when it drops into view, but it takes my brain an extra second or two to recognize its Cloud at the wheel, and when I do, he’s already at it again, mowing down guards like he’s ridden a motorcycle his whole life.

Barret starts firing his gun, and I quickly follow suit. Guards go down, whether by me or Barret, I don’t know and I don’t care. All that matters is they go down.

A truck pulls up beside us. “Get in!” Tifa shuts, leaning over and opening the passenger side door.

Aerith gets in, and I jump into the back with Red and Barret. I’m low on bullets, and I only have a couple more cartridges, but I know how to make them last.

No arms and no legs. I can only go for kill shots now.

We drive off quickly. I barely have time to grab onto the luggage rack to keep myself in the truck. We pass more guards, but Cloud takes them out before Barret or I can do any damage.

We stop when we reach one guard, standing by the windows. Even from here I can see him shaking. I aim, ready to take him out, but Cloud once again beats me to it. He revs the bike, and throws his sword. It embeds itself in the glass just beside the guard’s head.

The guard runs off without a fight. I’m surprised he didn’t run off sooner.

Cloud turns back to us. “Ryder, get on. I might need you.”

Surprised, I leap from the truck without a word. I climb up behind Cloud. I check my cartridge. There’s only one bullet left. I reload quickly, storing that bullet away for later.

“Ready?” he asks, turning his head slightly back to me.

“Good to go.”

He charges forward, breaking the glass. I hold on tight and almost lose my grip when we land, but I manage to stay on the seat. Cloud has his sword back in his hand, holding it out alongside us.

“Don’t kill us,” I groan. I feel him let out a breath, and I would almost swear it was a laugh.

I wasn’t trying to be funny.

There’s a silence that falls over us as we make our escape down the empty road. There’s a question gnawing at my insides, and I know I won’t be able to rest until I know the answer.

But I’m afraid to know.

I take a deep breath and lean forward, so I’m close enough that Cloud should be able to hear me despite the noise from the motorcycle. “Do, do you know what happened to Jessie and Biggs?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.

Cloud’s head jerks to the side slightly, probably surprised I said something, or that he heard me. There’s a pause, and it takes everything I have not to grip onto his sides any tighter than I already am. “They didn’t make it.”

The words hit me hard, and my chest tightens until I can hardly breathe. I close my eyes, trying to force his words to leave, but the weight they carry land heavy.

“I’m sorry,” Cloud adds, like it matters.

I can feel the tears falling before I can think about stopping them, and I don’t bother to stop them or wipe them away. I struggle not to sob, or sniffle. I swallow hard around the growing lump in my throat.

Hojo was right. The thought hurts almost as bad as Cloud’s words.

_I didn’t save anyone._


	19. rebuild yourself as someone new

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> snaps! last chapter
> 
> messed with the plot a lot here – really didn’t want to write a bunch of fight scenes. still tragically game heavy, but I tried to change it up a bit

I don’t have time to think about Gideon. There are too many people and monsters to fight, and it takes all my brainpower to fire my gun and not fall off the back of the bike at the same time.

It’s actually nice, having something else to distract me. It doesn’t matter that Gideon’s dead; that my friends are dead; that my parents are probably dead. All that matters is protecting the friends I have left. What happens to me doesn’t matter, as long as they’re safe.

Cloud is driving like a maniac, but the thrill I feel overrides any fear. We’ve only been together for a short time, but there’s a quiet understanding between us. It might be the SOLDIER he used to be, but he knows exactly where to go so I get the perfect shot. We take down many of the enemies down together, leaving the others protected in the truck behind us.

We skid to a stop on the other side of a set of tollbooths. Cloud knocks the kickstand down, and I climb off after him. The others come out of the truck and join us without a word. Aerith glances over at me, her eyes wide until I look away. I don’t know why she’s staring, and I don’t want to know.

We move down the road. I fall back with Red. My gun feels hot in my hand.

Barret looks over his shoulder at me. “How’s your ammo?”

I shake my head. “Not good. Two or three cartridges left.”

“Make ‘em count.”

Cloud stops, eyes cast upwards. I follow his gaze and see Sephiroth above us, casually floating down until he lands on the road in front of us.

“Okay, asshole, let’s –”

Aerith holds out her arm, stopping Barret from his advance. I’m behind her, so she doesn’t stop me when I raise my gun and fire.

The bullet misses, even though it shouldn’t. Sephiroth turns to me, his eyes narrowing as he stares.

“Don’t!” Aerith says quickly. I lower my weapon as she takes a step forward. “And you…you’re wrong.”

“Those who look with clouded eyes see nothing but shadows.” Sephiroth says, his eyes finally leaving mine, and focusing on Aerith.

“Everything about you is wrong!”

Sephiroth remains silent for a moment. It almost looks like he smiles before he speaks again. “All born are bound to her. Should this world be unmade, so too shall her children.”

None of this is making any sense, but I stay quiet.

“The world won’t end today. But you will!” Cloud draws his sword. I lift my gun again, but have to lower it again quickly as the Whispers descend upon us, floating around us until I can’t see even Red, who was just beside me a moment ago.

And then the screaming starts. It’s so sudden and so piercing I have to drop my gun to cover my eyes. The very sound makes it feel as if my head will burst at any moment. I try to focus on something, anything, other than the screaming.

The sound fades after what feels like hours, and I manage to break free of the Whispers. But Sephiroth is gone, and only a dark abyss is left behind.

Without a word, Cloud moves forward, but Aerith is faster and grabs him before he can get too close. “This is the point of no return,” she says, and I can hardly hear her from where I’m standing. She releases Cloud and moves herself to the darkness. She raises her hand, and it becomes an almost blinding white light. There is so much we don’t know about her.

“Why did you stop me?” Cloud asks.

Aerith looks down. “I’m not really sure,” she confesses.

“What will we find on the other side?” Tifa asks, stepping forward.

“Freedom. Boundless, terrifying freedom. Like a great, never ending sky.” Aerith turns back to us. “What you heard just now were the voices of the planet. Those born into this world; who lived and who died; who returned. They’re howling in pain.”

“Because of him? Sephiroth?”

She nods. “They…their words, they don’t reach him. All these moments, precious and fleeting, they’re like rain rolling off his back. And when they’re gone, he won’t cry or shout or anything. He’d tell you that he only cares about the planet. That he’d do everything in his power to protect and preserve it. But this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. There’s no greater threat to the planet than him. Sephiroth has to be stopped. He has to be! And that’s why I’m asking you to help me. I know that, together, we can do this.” Her eyes find mine, and I nod. I’m already in this. I’m not backing down now.

“But if we do, we’ll be changing more than fate itself.” She turns away from us, looking back at the glowing white light she transformed. “If we succeed, if we win, we’ll be changing ourselves. I guess, maybe that’s why I hesitated.”

“You said it yourself. He has to be stopped,” Cloud says easily. I know he agreed to help her long before this moment. “And frankly, I’ve heard enough howling for a lifetime.”

I step forward, and Tifa quickly follows me. “Never tried to challenge destiny,” she says in a way that almost makes me smile. It just sounds very typical Tifa.

“This could well be her last line of defense,” Red adds, coming forward as well. “It won’t be easy.”

We walk through the light together. I don’t care about destiny. Anything is better than this. I need something more. If I stop and think, I’ll never get moving again.

We end up where we left, but there’s something off about it. Like, everything has shifted to the right and we’re still stuck in the middle.

“Don’t know about you, but looks normal to me!” Barret calls from behind me.

The Whispers swarm us again; one gets close to me and suddenly all I can see is Hojo’s lab. I see him in his dirty lab coat coming towards me. There’s a different instrument in his hands, and I don’t like the look of it at all.

The swarm disappears as quickly as it came, and I stagger on my feet. I hear groans from the others and know immediately that they saw something too.

Without pause, I press down on the scar on my shoulder and focus on the pain it brings. I can’t think about being back at the lab.

“What the hell did I just see?” Barret demands, once again voicing what I don’t.

I share a look with Cloud as Red starts, “A glimpse of tomorrow if we fail here today.”

Like hell. I would rather die than be forced to return to Shinra. 

Tifa turns to Aerith. “So, what now?”

“As long as Sephiroth’s still out there, I…”

“We can beat him,” Aerith says gently, her hand pressed hard against her chest. “We will.”

Tifa steps forward. “Count me in,” she agrees easily.

Red joins her. “If it’s to be a hunt, you could use a nose like mine.”

I step forward too. “I’m in,” I tell him simply. _Where else will I go_ , I don’t add.

“I’m in too!” Barret says, turning around to join us. “Bastard wants to destroy the whole planet, doesn’t he? An enemy of hers is an enemy of Avalanche!”

Cloud takes each of us in, slowly looking between us. No one says anything, and finally he nods.

Something hits my forehead. I look up. The sky is dark, and I realize it’s raining. I hold my hands out, and feel the water hit my palms in quick, fat drops. The dirt under our feet will slowly turn to mud, but for a moment we don’t move. Each of us is taking in the rain quietly as it falls heavy.

I raise my head towards the sky, and allow the drops to fall onto my face. I grip my hands into tight fists. No matter what happens after this, I’m going to give it my all. I’m done being weak.

My heart begins to ache, and I close my eyes tightly against the tears that I know want to fall. I won’t cry, not now. Not when there’s so much to do.

I don’t have time to grieve the people I’ve lost.

I take a deep breath and start forward, following closely behind Cloud. We have different reasons for moving forward – we all do.

But I don’t care if I come back.

I press down one final time on the scar on my shoulder. It’s one of the many reasons Shinra has to be stopped. No matter what happens, we have to win.

I’m going to make everyone regret messing with Evie Ryder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the end of the story! as of now, I'm planning on making a sequel, but I'm *probably* going to wait until REMAKE 2 comes out, just because I don't know the way it's going to go and how it'll be different from the original game.
> 
> thank you for staying with me through this! I appreciate you all!!


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